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Feature - April 1, 2004

City Weekly's Best Of Utah 2004

by City Weekly staff

THE DINING LIFE

RESTAURANTS BEST ATMOSPHERE - Readers Choice

La Caille

Rustic, pastoral and sophisticated at the same time, this small hamlet of fine dining draws a line around everything commonplace to modern life, not to mention most other restaurants, and then eliminates it all. Where else are you going to dine with a frolicking goose outside your window and plump-bosomed waitress who looks like a character from a Victor Hugo novel? 9565 S. Wasatch Blvd., 942-1751.

2. Samba Grill

3. Tuscany


BEST JAVA & JIGGLE

Bikini Cups Coffee Co.

Predictably, controversy stirred when Bikini Cups opened in a Kearns strip mall last summer. Thing is, the town’s morality police couldn’t decide which to be more outraged about: Scantily-clad female baristas, or the fact that evil coffee was being poured within city limits. Regardless, Bikini Cups Coffee Co. has been bustling with business, serving up Maternity Cups (heavy-cream latte), Double-Ds (grande mocha latte), A-Cups (single shot espresso) and other cheekily-named specialty concoctions for suburbanites (mostly men, go figure) who didn’t even know they liked coffee before now. 4884 W. Brazilian Blvd., 555-DCUP.

BEST TAMALES - Readers Choice

Rico Mexican Market

Often reserved for the Christmas season because they are so labor intensive, tamales hand-wrapped in corn husks or banana leaves are cooked up by Jorge Fierro’s staff all year ‘round. These delicate creations are filled with beef, chicken or a pineapple mixture for a sweet dessert. You can buy them hot to eat here or take home a bag to feed the whole family. 779 S. 500 East, 533-9923.

2. Red Iguana

3. Blue Iguana


BEST DOWNTOWN BOHEMIAN FARE

Spice

Tables lacquered in cut-out images from magazines are a dead giveaway that this isn’t your usual downtown eatery. For that, we should be thankful. If this hip and humble eatery were in the middle of, say, Vancouver, B.C., it would be a magnet for after-hours revelers and students on the prowl. As it is, Spice should still stir up enough wandering taste buds to make a lasting dent with its downtown location. This is wholesome, simple food done right with lots of fresh ingredients and combinations to make sure you don’t get bored. (Six different pitas and four combo plates says that someone in the kitchen’s thinking.) As for prices, bang for your buck doesn’t come much louder, or more delicious.
123 S. West Temple, 322-4796.


BEST ALTA EATING

Shallow Shaft

Tim and Kathy Garling’s high-altitude Alta eatery might be better known by longtime out-of-town customers like William F. Buckley, Jr. than by Utah locals. If so, that’s a shame. Because Shallow Shaft serves up some of the most artistic, creative, and best-tasting meals in the state. Rack of Utah lamb with ancho chile sauce, chicken with kiwi-tomato salsa, and ahi tuna with wasabi aioli are just three tasty reasons to motor up Little Cottonwood Canyon to the treasure-filled Shallow Shaft restaurant. Alta, 742-2177.


BEST APRES SKI BARGAINS

Snowbird

Work up a hearty appetite skiing the steep and the deep at Snowbird, then head to one of Snowbird’s restaurants to fill up with just the change in your snowsuit. The Keyhole Cantina offers tacos for a buck each during happy hour while the Lodge Club Bistro has all-you-can-eat steamed mussels and frites, for $5 on Sundays. Over at the Wildflower, its 25-cent chicken wings daily during après ski and pitchers of La Batt’s for only $7 and the Aerie offers Sunday sushi specials from 4-6 p.m. Put the money you’ve saved on dinner away for next year’s Snowbird season pass. Little Cottonwood Canyon.


BEST VIETNAMESE BARGAIN

East Sea Restaurant

With only a handful of dishes on the extensive menu priced higher than $6.25, the large serving portions at East Sea restaurant are a bargain hunter’s delight. Most of East Sea’s plates are big enough for four people to share, so you do the math: A crisp green Jackson will go a long way at East Sea. Be sure to try the Vietnamese combination hot pot, the sautéed beef with rice noodles called “bun bo xao,” and the heavenly salt-baked prawns. 120 N. 900 West,
596-8963; 3695 S. Redwood Rd.,
972-9009.


BEST BRAZILIAN BARGAIN

Brazil Brasil

You’ll think you’re actually in Brazil spending exchange-rate friendly American dollars when you visit Brazil Brasil, where a few bucks will buy you an entire Hungry Man-size meal. The sweet and savory Brazilian pastries called “sonhos,” “pastis,” “esfihas,” “risolis,” and “coxinhas” are terrific for small appetites. But for the full Monty, order the heaping “churrasco” platter of grilled steak, sausage, chicken, veggies, fries, rice and beans and service with a very friendly Brasileiro smile. It’s also a good café to sit and watch Brazilian “futebol” or “telenovellas.” 4031 W. 4100 South, 955-7403.


BEST BREW PUB -Readers Choice

Squatters

Oh, choices, choices. Should a visitor to this downtown fixture enjoy classic brews like Provo Girl pilsner, American wheat Hefeweizen or Full Suspension Pale Ale? Or maybe take advantage of seasonal specialties like the Hop Head Red or Payson’s Porter? But the great thing is you don’t even have to choose—not when you can opt for a sampler tray of six or 12 different amazing Squatters creations. Drop in for a brew while watching the game on one of several TV screens, or complement your beverage with a fine meal. No matter what you choose, you can’t lose. 147 W. 300 South, 363-2739.

2. Red Rock Brewing Co.

3. Desert Edge


BEST BREW & FOOD CROSS-REFERENCE

Bohemian Brewery & Grill

The Bohemian Brewery & Grill has both killer food (German and Czech fare alongside American goods) and beer (Euro-style, of course), but the Midvale restaurant went the extra pint by including helpful cross-referencing suggestion symbols in their menu: The Blackberry Brandy Chicken goes best with a Cherny Bock, the grilled salmon filet tastes better a Bavarian Weiss, the Bohemian club sandwich works nicely with a Czech Pilsner, the country ham risotto pasta and the Viennese Lager are a perfect match, etc. Less thinkin,’ more eatin’ and drinkin.’ 94 E. Fort Union Blvd. (7200 South), 566-5474.


BEST BUSINESS LUNCH -Readers Choice

Lamb’s Grill Café

“Since 1919, Utah’s oldest, most famous restaurant.” That’s what it says on their menu. OK, maybe not Hollywood famous, but Lamb’s is as timeless and classic as any Humphrey Bogart movie. The long black marble counter holds about 18 stools where you can sidle up with your morning paper and await your lunch date. Or there are numerous more intimate wooden booths and tables in the rear of this historic eatery, each covered in crisp, white linen. You can imagine the deals that get done at this place. Seafood, lamb, pasta and salads are typical lunch and dinner fare, all at prices that allow you to stay in business. Lamb’s is open for breakfast, too (Monday through Saturday). If you want an omelet for lunch, Lamb’s serves ’em until 3:30 p.m. 169 S. Main, 364-7166.

2. The New Yorker

3. Market Street Grill


BEST CHINATOWN RESTAURANT

Hong Kong Tea House & Restaurant

So Salt Lake City doesn’t really have a Chinatown. But when you visit Hong Kong Tea House you may think you’re in a Seattle, Vancouver, or New York Chinatown. The ambiance is terrific and the chefs at Hong Kong Tea House came direct to Zion from San Francisco’s Chinatown. Best of all, the food is traditional and delicious, from the small dim sum dishes to family style dinners and seared whole fish. The Crystal Prawns and Hot Szechwan Tofu are customer favorites and the tea selection at Hong Kong Tea House is unbeatable. Easy parking in front of the restaurant just adds to the appeal. 565 W. 200 South, 531-7010.


BEST WESTERN VALLEY RESTAURANT (PAST 900 WEST) -Readers Choice

Q4U Barbecue

We sometimes hear talk of him possibly expanding the Q4U restaurant into more locations beyond its singular, tucked-away West Valley City digs, but obviously owner and chief smoker Tommy “T” has been busy attending to more pressing concerns: Making killer Southern-style barbecue well worth the trip even for metro-dwelling west-phobes. Ribs, beef brisket, pulled pork, catfish—it’s all done so right at Q4U. 4655 S. 4800 West, 955-8858.

2. La Frontera

3. Thai Delight


BEST CHINESE -Readers Choice

Sampan

The place isn’t known for its refined décor. Sampan is located in a strip mall, after all. But that doesn’t matter, because it’s all about the cuisine. And Sampan has it in spades. Any Chinese dish you can think of, done right, fast and cheap. Dine in or take out. What else is there to say? Maybe that they deliver. 675 E. 2100 South, 467-3663.

2. Mandarin

3. Hong Kong Tea House


BEST KOSHER DELI

Kosher On the Go

So it’s not exactly a huge stack they’re at the top of; it is, in fact, the only kosher-certified deli in the state. That doesn’t mean it’s not a great place for all your pure dietary needs. Sandwiches, matzoh ball soup, challah ... it’s like a little bit of New York neighborhood just dropped smack dab into Salt Lake City. And Chabad Lubavitchof Utah keeps watch to make sure all the preparatory i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed. 1575 S. 1110 East, 463-1786.


BEST DELICATESSEN

Zenger’s

Zenger’s is the casual kind of delicatessen you’d expect to find in Greenwich Village, Berkeley, or Ann Arbor—kind of kitschy and kind of cool, where bohemians line up for oatmeal streusel for breakfast. The sandwiches are terrific, made to order with Great Harvest Bread Co. breads. Zenger’s really rocks at lunchtime when discerning customers line up for sandwiches like the Phat Tony, Adam & Eve, and the Tahini Vegetarian. 270 25th Street, Ogden,
801-334-9494.


BEST DESSERTS -Readers Choice

Market Street Grill

If you’re running for office, and you want to win, you have to ask for someone’s vote. If you’re a restaurateur and want to sell desserts, again, you have to ask. And with panache. Few make the effort. Patrons who’ve just polished off a fine meal at Market Street Grill might at first refuse dessert on general principle: “I’m too full!” they moan. But should they briefly hesitate or their eyelids flicker, Andrea arrives to close the deal. Her tray is laden with virtual dessert masterpieces, all trickled with berry sauces and adorned with mint leaves: Creme brûlée, New York cheesecake, enormous rich-looking slabs of carrot cake and devil’s food cake, raspberry-almond or macadamia-coconut torte. The tray thrust before you, much like a candidate’s campaign promise, is too alluring to resist. You simply must vote “Yes,” for all desserts at Market Street Grill. 48 W. Market St., 322-4668; Cottonwood: 2985 E. 6580 South,
942-8860.

2. Red Butte Café

3. The Bakery


BEST DINNER THEATER

Tepanyaki

With the whoosh! of flames from each tableside grill and spatulas, knives, and food all flying, Tepanyaki is both dinner and a show. But pyrotechnics and fancy knife work aside, Clearfield’s Tepanyaki Japanese Steak House offers delicious cooked Japanese specialties like sukiyaki beef and the Samurai Special which includes shrimp, salmon, and filet mignon all served with the delicious house fried rice that even the kids love. If you prefer your food raw, there’s also a sushi bar at Tepanyaki offering sushi rolls and sashimi. 1386 S. Legend Hills Drive, Clearfield, 775-8813.


BEST DOWNTOWN/CENTRAL RESTAURANT -Readers Choice

Samba Grill

It’s a raucous all-you-can-eat Brazilian barbecue bonanza. At Samba, the meat flows freely, as does the music and overwrought wait staff. $20 will keep your plate piled high with a combination of 14 meats. But word on the street is that you can only get the grilled lamb and ribs on weekends. So if you’re looking for a “carnaval”-type dining experience, and you don’t mind sword-wielding meat hackers, Samba’s your kind of party. 162 S. 400 West, 456-2200.

2. Bambara

3. Mikado


BEST GREEK -Readers Choice

Greek Souvlaki

In the beginning, there was Greek Souvlaki #1, which begat more locations—and they were all good. Very, very good, in fact, serving up heaping helpings of souvlaki, yeero (the preferred variant spelling) and the like for ridiculously low prices. Add fluffy pitas, succulent dolmathes, authentic Greek salad and maybe a little baklava for desert, and you’ve got a meal that could make the WASP-iest WASP jump up and yell, “Opa!”—even if you’re standing at the walk-up window. 404 E. 300 South, 322-2062; 1446 S. State, 487-3481; 2192 W. 3500 South (West Valley), 973-4976.

2. The Other Place

3. Aristo’s


BEST GAS STATION GRUB

Silver Summit Café

Now that a gallon of super premium gasoline costs nearly as much as a meal, we may as well plan dinner around trips to the local petrol station. That’s especially true if you’re gassing up at the Highway 40 Chevron station east of Park City, where the Silver Summit Café serves up home-cooked food in an eye-catching atmosphere. This definitely ain’t your daddy’s truck stop. Why, there’s even a patio. At Silver Summit Café there’s a wood-fired pizza oven, big plates of crispy oven-roasted chicken, Swedish pancakes, Monte Cristo sandwiches, Mexican carnitas, and a lot more. You can even sit and enjoy sports on the widescreen TVs while you dig into a rib-sticking plate of pot roast, confident in the fact that you won’t run out of gas on the way to dinner. Silver Summit Exit, Highway 40 (Exit 2) 435-649-7638.


BEST EASTERN VALLEY RESTAURANT (PAST 1300 EAST) -Readers Choice

Lugano

Uptown atmosphere, superb service, suburban prices. Rustic Italian food made with the very best ingredients like truffle oil and imported Parmigiana-Reggiano highlight this neighborhood eatery, which serves up wood-oven-baked hearth bread and pizzas as well as a memorable beef carpaccio and linguini with Manila clams. Watch for the chef’s specials. 3364 S. 2300 East, 412-9994.

2. Log Haven

3. Rivers


BEST CALZONES -Readers Choice

Big Apple Pizzeria

Big Apple owner John Nelson caters primarily to East Coast transplants and anyone “looking for the real stuff,” he says. The “real stuff,” as Nelson puts it, is authentic, and oh-so-ooey-gooey New York-style calzones. Yeow! Have it your way by choosing from an assortment of meats, cheeses and vegetables, souped together with pizza sauce, wrapped in a doughy crust and baked to a deep golden brown. Or, for a sure thing, order from Big Apple’s wide-ranging menu. Try Dominick’s Calzone, a definite crowd pleaser with pepperoni, sausage, onions, mushrooms and mounds of mozzarella. If you’re looking to keep light on your feet, go for the chicken- or artichoke heart-inspired calzones. And the best thing about Big Apple: It’s a bargain. 2939 E. 3300 South, 485-4534.

2. The Pie

3. Rusted Sun


BEST REASON TO VISIT WEST JORDAN

Thai Delight Café

Hidden away in a small West Jordan strip mall near the Bangerter Highway is a real treasure: one of Utah’s best Thai restaurants. Ridiculously inexpensive dishes and fresh, bold, homemade Thai flavors make Thai Delight Café a popular destination for Thai food aficionados. The service is as friendly as the food is delicious. Try the glass noodle egg rolls, the fragrant lemongrass-infused soups, and the heavenly “panang” and “mussamun” curries. Of course, “pad Thai” is also a must. 6271 S. 3655 West, West Jordan, 968-7626.


BEST FANCY FRENCH

Chenez

If you’re looking for French food the way Charles de Gaulle would’ve wanted it, head to Park City’s Chenez restaurant where French culinary classics and elegant dining are still in vogue. There’s no confusing fusion cooking at Chenez, just timeless dishes like coquilles St. Jacques, tournedos Rossini, sole à la Normande, veau Oscar, and Chateaubriand. This is the place to open up that bottle of 1900 Chateau Margaux you’ve been saving. 710 Main, Park City, 435-940-1909.


BEST FRENCH-Readers Choice

L’Avenue Bistro

If you wanted anything more French in a dining experience, you’d damned near have to board a plane. L’Avenue drips so much je ne sais quois European class you almost feel that, perched atop a stool at its zinc-topped bar, you’re living an anomaly. But it is, of course, the food that kicks this establishment into the top ranks of discerning diners. You know you’re in a French restaurant when steamed mussels, pomme frittes and pan-seared meat and seafood specials beckon you from the menu. You know you’re in a very, very good French restaurant when the flavors tickle your tummy all the way up to your hair follicles. Somewhere, the French must have a word for it. 1355 E. 2100 South,
485-4494.

2. Paris Bistro

3. La Caille


BEST GERMAN

Bavarian Chalet

From Bavarian cuckoo clocks and beer steins to King Ludwig, Ogden’s Bavarian Chalet is a treasure trove of German culture and cuisine. There’s bratwurst and weisswurst, wienerschnitzel and sauerbraten. And at Bavarian Chalet you can sample most of it by ordering the truly Teutonic King Ludwig Platter, a culinary tour of German cuisine that’s fit for a king. It’s all backed up by a nice selection of German beer and wine. 4387 Harrison Blvd., Ogden, 801-479-7561.


BEST HOMEMADE DINNERS NOT MADE IN YOUR HOME

My Girlfriend’s Kitchen and
Secret Dinners

Food: Who has time to figure out decent menus, do all the shopping, prepare the meals and then clean up afterwards? If your answer of “Not me” means your family subsists on frozen pizza and pricey take-out, try these alternatives. Both businesses offer pre-planned menus and pre-purchased ingredients that you assemble in their kitchen at a reserved time to your own specifications. Then you can just walk away from the mess with ready-to-freeze meals for an entire week. Less guilt, less expense, less time spent—that’s a recipe for happiness. My Girlfriend’s Kitchen, 1875 Ft. Union, 944-8900; Secret Dinners, 3225 E. 3300 South, 913-1025.


BEST AT BEING THE BEST

Mandarin

Year after year, there is a constant in our list of best Chinese food, and that constant is the Mandarin. In a sea of franchise eateries and fast-food chains, Mandarin stands out head and shoulders above the fray as not only Bountiful’s best restaurant, but one of Utah’s best Chinese restaurants. The marvelous cookery of Mandarin’s Chinese chefs, an ambiance that is second to none, exquisite service, and remarkably low prices all help to explain why Mandarin has been Davis County’s most popular restaurant for over a quarter of a century. Folks start lining up outside the Mandarin door before it opens at 5 p.m. and there’s usually a wait for a table. Is Mandarin worth the wait? You bet your last potsticker it is! 348 E. 900 North, Bountiful, 801-298-2406.


BEST INDIAN -Readers Choice

Bombay House

Don’t curse India because it’s full of computer programmers who’ll work for less than those in the First World, curse it because you know you’ll never come across a world cuisine so hearty, healthy and downright delicious. A Foothill Drive staple for years, Bombay House is one of a handful of establishments diners know will require reservations, and for good reason. Service shines, the atmosphere is always relaxing, and the combination of Bombay House’s fiery vindaloo and onion Nan matched with an ice-cold Taj Mahal beer is a pleasure so enduring that most other meals seem merely the stuff of memories. 1615 S. Foothill Dr., 581-0222.

2. Star of India

3. Curry in a Hurry


BEST JAPANESE ESCAPE

Dai-Enko Tei

The shallow pools and running streams of water, fish ponds, bamboo fencing, and waterfalls all contribute to the seductive serenity of Dai-Enko Tei restaurant and the inescapable notion that you’re definitely not in Ogden anymore. Adding to the Japanese gestalt is the teppanyaki cooking show of Chef Jason Dong, featuring gleaming knives, flying food, and high-speed grilling. The cooked teppan and hibachi dishes at Dai-Enko Tei are real crowd pleasers but the sushi and sashimi are also excellent. 6024 S. 1550 East, South Ogden, 801-476-8889.


BEST ITALIAN -Readers Choice

Lugano

After spending a few weeks in northern Italy, where a single meal can be a three-hour proposition, a connoisseur came back to Utah with a hankering for authentic risotto. He found it at Lugano, Mill Creek’s “boisterous” bistro. Lugano’s menu entails rustic northern Italy fare, cooked on a wood-burning stove to sharpen every whiff and nibble. The menu ebbs and flows with the seasons, but some perennial favorites include: polenta-stuffed portabellos, focaccia bread stacked with grilled pears, caramelized onions and pine nuts, and roasted chicken ravioli with three-cheese sauce. Lugano also offers cooking classes. 3364 S. 2300 East, 412-9994.

2. Michelangelo

3. Cucina Toscana


BEST MEDITERRANEAN VACATION

Atlantic Café

Alright, so maybe Main Street Salt Lake City isn’t Italy. Or Greece. But don’t let the proximity to AJ’s fool you, the Atlantic Café is the real thing. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner, the Atlantic features some of the best coffee you’ll find anywhere, and a multinational wine list. The atmosphere comes as much from the salmon pink walls and casual yet intimate feeling as it does from offerings like pizzas (the Margherita is especially good), panini (grilled Italian sandwiches) and the Atlantic Grill plate, a huge plate filled gyro meat, souvalaki, sausage and chicken. They even have a miniature market devoted to hard to find European foods. 325 S. Main, 524-9900.


BEST MEXICAN-Readers Choice

Red Iguana

Despite new Mexican eateries proliferating along the Wasatch more rapidly than potholes and Starbucks, North Temple institution Red Iguana remains king. The mole verde, the mole poblano, the chile verde, everything else—you couldn’t go wrong with this menu if you tried, and you’ll never impress an out-of-town friend quicker. Wish you could have been around for this one, Ramon. 736 N. Temple, 322-1489.

2. Blue Iguana

3. Café Rio


BEST LEAGUE OF NATIONS

Cafe Med

A growing number of non-meat eaters are discovering the wonderful world of Cafe Med—many of their items are labeled as (V) vegetarian, and others can be ordered VUR (vegetarian upon request). Cafe Med offers cuisines from Greece (lamb souvlaki), Turkey (Turkish yogurt pasta), Persia (Persian eggplant), Lebanon (tabouleh), Italy (Italian sausage pasta) and other notable choices from throughout the Middle East and Mediterranean. Certainly, this place serves up some of the healthiest food around. Check out all the flags, too. 420 E. 3300 South,
493-0100.


BEST JAPANESE-Readers Choice

Mikado

Mikado is on a roll. Not on one of their trademark sushi and sashimi specialty hand rolls. But on a roll in terms of progress and expansion. They’ve remodeled the downtown restaurant and opened a new one in Cottonwood. The Park City restaurant continues to thrive. So they must be doing many things right. Their cuisine and ambiance are top-notch. In fact, some of the city’s finest sushi is served here (the Volcano roll among them), along with traditional sukiyaki, teriyaki, tempura and udon (Japanese noodle soup) dishes. Treat yourself to seared ahi tuna and soba noodles sauteed with vegetables or the Emperor’s dinner (Mikado means “emperor” in Japanese) that combines black tiger shrimp, vegetable tempura and a teriyaki tenderloin filet. 67 W. 100 South, 328-0929; 6572 S. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, 947-9800; 738 Main, Park City, 435-655-7100.

2. Kyoto

3. Ichiban


BEST MIDDLE EASTERN -Readers Choice

Mazza

Once a regular hangout of the make-it-to-go crowd, proprietor Ali Sabbah has of late taken his restaurant into more formal realms. So sit down, relax, and eat your hummus and falafel in style but, please, don’t ignore one of the main reasons behind this change in format. Dinner specials like maghmoor (vegetarian eggplant with garbanzo beans, tomato sauce and garlic onions and olive oil) and chicken and cauliflower kabseh (morsels of chicken in a rich broth of tomatoes, onions and spices) are yet another reason you’ll remain beholden to this classic neighborhood eatery. 1515 S. 1500 East, 484-9259.

2. Café Med

3. Cedars of Lebanon


BEST MOVIE STAR RESTAURATEUR

Leon Barroso

With a movie career spanning five decades, Leon Barroso appeared in more than 150 movies in Mexico and in California, beginning in 1948 with Carta Brava. As the current owner of Taco Taco in Ogden, you’re more likely these days to find the retired actor, producer, and writer making tacos and burritos than appearing in films or television. Taco Taco, 2931 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-393-6526.


BEST ON THE CHEAP -Readers Choice

Blue Plate Diner

If ever there was a worthy successor to the late, legendary Bill & Nada’s Café, it would have to be the Blue Plate Diner: Retro atmosphere suitable for hipsters and parental units, killer breakfast fare and, above all, a comfy price tag. How many other places in town bestow such an inner sense of cool and gets a pair out the door for under 20 bucks? None, baby. 2041 S. 2100 East, 463-1151.

2. Thai Siam

3. Soup Kitchen


BEST PLACE FOR A “CUPPA” AND A GAME OF CHESS

Beehive Tea Room

Don’t think of tea as a snob’s repast of raised pinkies and talk about the local landed gentry. The Brits know that it’s really a block of afternoon time for some aggressive relaxation, or even a time for some serious eating. The Beehive Tea Room covers all those bases, and serves only the best with Harney & Sons tea, but you’ve got to make arrangements in advance if you want cucumber sarnies. Scones, biscuits, a pot of Earl Grey and a game of chess are available on demand in the tastefully designed environs of the Beehive. You could take your repast into the establishment’s “Willow Room.” We won’t snicker if you do. 12 W. Broadway, 328-4700.


BEST PLACE TO FIND THE GREATEST GENERATION

Jim’s Family Restaurants

Seems like the same folks gather at the same tables day after day at all the Jim’s Restaurants. In the mornings, the men walk in to talk and gab. By midday, it’s the women, many of whom are playing card games besides taking in coffee or tea. In the evening it’s couples. Many of the clientele of Jim’s Family Restaurants have a wonderful, common thread—they are members of what Tom Brokaw named “the Greatest Generation.” They are our parents or grandparents, and it’s reassuring to know they can still find a place where pieces of our lives and theirs stand still long enough to remind us all that fair prices, good portions, courteous service, and old friends still count for something. 3820 W. 3500 South, 969-8265; 1665 W. 4100 South, 281-2660; 7609 S. Redwood Rd., 568-0819; 10640 S. Holiday Park Dr., 553-8100.


BEST PLACE TO HANG IN HEBER

Sidetrack Café

Heber’s boasted a lot of fine, small restaurants of late, but nothing as eccentrically delicious as Janine McKenty’s Sidetrack Café. A Chicago native with spunk to spare, McKenty is, as she herself says, “anal about preparing everything homemade.” So everything from quiche to wraps to scones, biscotti and enchurritos gets her loving touch in a small restaurant atmosphere suffused in blues and reggae music and pastel, brick-a-brack laden walls. Try McKenty’s “Sphincter Shrinker” hot sauce or “Psychotic Soy” sauce on for size. Killing an hour or two in Heber’s never been so much fun. 94 S. Main, Heber, 435-654-0563.


BEST RESTAURANT SIGNAGE RECYCLING

The Panda Café

When the Globe Café shut down, it left yet another empty Main Street storefront and a fancy piece of metal sign age. It was relief enough when a Chinese eatery moved into the space, but the operators clearly saw an opportunity to make use of more than the existing retail space. Rather than tear down the entire Globe Café sign, they cleverly plopped a panda in the center where a globe once resided, keeping a big “The” and “Café” right where they were. Cheers to a business wise enough not to waste something that could just as easily have ended up in the landfill.
264 S. Main, 359-4544.


BEST ROMANTIC -Readers Choice

Log Haven Restaurant

Picture a rustic mansion built in 1920 enveloped by lush, towering pines in a serene canyon on 40 acres. Waterfalls sparkle in the distance. Inside, a crackling fire awaits in the lounge, also warming the dining room. Behind the scenes, award-winning chef David Jones conjures his culinary magic. Any one of his eccentric signature dishes—like coriander-rubbed ahi tuna, with a lemon-guava sauce and a sweet and spicy soy-ginger glaze, served with a macadamia-nut sticky rice roll—have been known to send people to “fusion heaven.” And isn’t that where you want to be when you pop the question? Whether it’s “Will you marry me,” “Will you lend me $1,000,” or “Will you let me go?” the romantic mood inspired by the cast and setting of Log Haven augurs a positive result. 6451 E. Millcreek Canyon Road (3800 South), four miles up East Millcreek Canyon, 272-8255

2. La Caille

3. Tuscany


BEST OUTER-LIMITS RENDEZVOUS

Close Encounters

After that 10-light-year flight and a hard day of conducting anal probes, you want someplace special to take that someone special. Tucked out of the way in a recently revamped Trolley Square retail space is the ideal rendezvous point for E.T.’s in love. The dim lighting shows concern for sensitive, saucer-size eyes; thick stemware glasses provide easy manipulation for long, spindly fingers. And who doesn’t love the kind of Creole/Southwestern fusion cuisine created by chef Rémy Dominguez? Don’t wait until the whole invasion force makes it impossible to get a table. Trolley Square Towers, 555-ETCU.


BEST NEW RESTAURANT -Readers Choice

Panini

It’s “a feast for the eyes as well as the palette,” says General Manager Kevin Packer, explaining Panini’s phenomenal success since opening last August. Diners are instantly wooed by Panini’s white marble floors, maple wood moldings, and a fantastic collection of paintings by the locally renowned Wallis Brothers. Ambience-seeking guests can dine on the second-story patio overlooking Main Street and the Galivan Plaza. Panini banks on its swank without jacking up prices. At $18.99, the signature crab and shrimp stuffed halibut is indicative of the menu: reasonably priced Italian that’s heavy on the seafood. And don’t miss the smoked salmon bruschetta. Top off your meal with a sweet stogie from Panini’s posh cigar room. 299 S. Main, 535-4300

2. Spice

3. Thaifoon


BEST SOUTHERN COMFORT

Rib Alley

At Rib Alley, southern hospitality is served to customer in heaping helpings. Owners Jimmy Reynolds, Denise Austin and the friendly staff at Rib Alley make sure that no one ever leaves hungry or unhappy. The beef brisket and barbecued chicken are Rib Alley crowd pleasers, but don’t overlook tasty side dishes like candied yams, spicy collard greens, hushpuppies, and black-eyed peas. Regardless of what you order, at Rib Alley it’s always service with a smile. 533 S. 500 West, 359-9926.


BEST SOUTHERN VALLEY RESTAURANT (PAST 7000 SOUTH) -Readers Choice

Tiburon Fine Dining

Sandy and world-class dining might seem as incongruous a pairing as ... well, Sandy and voting Democrat. But the ’burbs have a true treasure in Ken and Valerie Rose’s Tiburon, which continues to provide magnificent continental cuisine in both its cozy dining room and on the seasonally-available charming patio. Muscovy duck, tenderloin of beef, and always, always the most remarkable and creative salads you’ll find anywhere. A great romantic spot or just a great place for anyone who loves great food, Tiburon almost makes Sandy feel cosmopolitan. 8256 S. 700 East, 255-1200.

2. Porcupine Grill

3. Café Rio


BEST REASON NOT TO EAT ICE CREAM

Nielsen’s Frozen Custard

Attention visitors: Here in Utah, we boast sort of a hierarchy of desserts. And while we do include the infamous green Jell-O, it’s only for family reunions when we’re giving it to people we don’t really like. If we like you, we give you ice cream. If we really like you, we take you to Nielsen’s Frozen Custard. Or at least we will as soon as the word gets out. Custard? you say. Yes. Made from a base of eggs and cream (translation: It is rich), Nielsen’s serves up its frozen treat in cones, sundaes and concretes—custard with mix-ins like raspberries or cookie dough. Or pick up a pint to take home and bribe your children with. 3918 S. Highland Dr., 277-7479; 570 W. 2600 South, 801-292-7479 (Bountiful).


BEST SPEEDY LUNCH -Readers Choice

Curry In a Hurry

Both the original Curry in a Hurry on State Street and the new location across from the Gallivan Center on Main are owned by Saifar and Amira Nisar who serve up good Pakistani food as swiftly as the name implies. The chicken curry is a favorite of many, including City Weekly’s Ted Scheffler, with its chunks of chicken breast swimming in a spicy curry sauce. Try the lamb curry and chicken tandoori, as well. It’s all always terrific. And fast. 2020 S. State, 467-4137; 210 S. Main,
323-7030.

2. Big Apple Pizza

3. Big City Soup

BEST MARTIAN TOPPINGS

To Serve Man Pizzeria

When Akzuul and Hqzzka Grgginpozza first arrived in Salt Lake City, it was believed they were on an evil mission to conquer and enslave all humans. Turns out, they just wanted to realize their dream of opening a mom-and-pop (we’re not sure yet which one’s which) pizza place on quaint li’l Earth. Even with a suspiciously rapid employee turnover rate, Akzuul and Hqzzka still create some of the tastiest pies in town using tightly-guarded secret-topping recipes handed down from Martian generation to generation, best washed down with a specially brewed Paranormal Porter. Sometimes, you’ll even find special surprises of jewelry in the toppings! 1373 E. Serling, 555-7344.


BEST SALSA BAR

El Chubasco

With more than a dozen freshly made salsas from El Chubasco’s salsa bar, your tacos, burritos, and tostadas need not go naked. The habañero salsa will singe your incisors, while the serrano salsa verde is only slightly less blistering. There’s also rich, smoky salsa de arbols, mild salsa Mexicana, and even fresh-sliced radishes and jalapeños to help you construct the perfect taco. 1890 Bonanza Dr., Park City, 435-645-9114.


BEST SPLURGE -Readers Choice

Metropolitan

Decidedly haute cuisine, decidedly pricey, decidedly worth it, this elegant restaurant has a top-notch chef and a menu that changes monthly. The ambiance is worthy of the food, with curved timber beams overhead and exquisite glassware on the tables. A great place to cement a relationship or celebrate a long-enduring one. 173 W. Broadway,
364-3472.

2. Fleming’s

3. The New Yorker


BEST SPRINGVILLE DETOUR

Thai Express

Most folks probably don’t look to Springville for tangy Thai cooking. That’s why finding Thai Express is worth the detour. A loyal clientele returns regularly to Thai Express for authentic Thai dishes like “gang luang,” with its tender chicken pieces cooked in a luscious yellow curry of coconut milk, peas, sweet peppers and bamboo shoots. The pad Thai noodles are astonishingly popular and no dinner at Thai Express is complete without their scrumptious tropical juice blends. Sadly though, no Singha. 1180 N. Main, Springville,
801-491-8485.


BEST SUNDAY BRUNCH -Readers Choice

Little America

For some, Sunday brunch is merely a fancy way to celebrate the fact that you slept in on the weekend—again. For others, it’s a serious enterprise where no expense is spared. At $23.95 per person, with children under five free, Little America won’t exactly break your bank, but you will be getting one of the best spreads in town. All the prerequisites are here: omelet station, bacon and sausage, fresh fruit, and lots of seafood choices if you’re leaning more toward the lunch end of brunch. Now sit yourself down into one of those plush booths and pour some syrup on that waffle. 500 S. Main, 596-5792.

2. Ruth’s Diner

3. Grand America


BEST WINE LIST -Readers Choice

The New Yorker

In vino veritas [In wine is truth]. So said Socrates in Plato’s Symposium. But only if you’ve got enough vino to choose from. The New Yorker presents its choices ably in an eight-page wine list covering almost every conceivable vine and grape, from a half-bottle of Louis Jadot Beaujalias at $13 to a Chateau Margaux French Red Bordeaux at $750. In between the oenophile may choose from white wines from New Zealand and Alsace, late harvest and dessert wines or bottles of Gewurztraminer & Riesling. And, of course, the New Yorker’s also got you covered if a “tasting flight” (2 ounces of three different wines) is all you need to complement your meal. Grape expectations to you.
60 W. Market St., 363-0166.

2. Lugano

3. Fleming’s


BEST TO TAKE THE KIDS -Readers Choice

The Mayan

This theme restaurant at Jordan Commons typically can hold every hot child in the city having a birthday on any given day—along with their friends and extended family. Larry Miller, who built the 40,000-square-foot, 1,009-seat complex, must have thought Utah’s array of temples wasn’t complete without a Mayan one in the mix. Diners find themselves seated in the heart of a tropical rainforest, with cliff divers plunging from an indoor 36-foot waterfall twice an hour to “wet” the appetite for a selection of mostly Mexican food. A Mayan god emerges from the cliff as a rocky face. Colorful robotic birds and iguanas flap their jaws and sing songs but are often drowned out by the surround-sound of sheer noise. The racket doesn’t bother the kids. They literally eat it up. 9375 S. State,
304-4600.

2. Old Spaghetti Factory

3. Samba Grill


BEST WORKING LUNCH

Molca Salsa Mexican

What do snowboarders, plumbers and paint contractors have in common? A once-hooked, unwavering attraction to Molca Salsa Mexican. This is The People’s Food, requiring all hands and lots of napkins. Spicy, steaming soft-shell tacos and bulging burritos are one place to start; add a towering refried-bean tostada with a dollop of fresh guacamole and a drizzle of homemade picante sauce. Or go for the (mucho) gusto: a chile relleno burrito. This deep-fried, cheese-oozing Anaheim pepper, smothered in guacamole and swaddled in a huge, warm flour tortilla, will leave you ready not just for the paint roller, but the revolution. 2901 E. 3300 South, 487-3850; 8025 W. 3500 South, Magna, 508-1962.


BEST ENGLISH TOFFEE MOCHA

Jitterbug Coffee Hop

So this guy Bruce spends his days staring out the drive-thru window, watching cars zip past his little establishment on 700 East, wishing he’d located by a stop light or something so he’d be noticed by the drivers of those cars, and dreaming up evil concoctions involving so much caffeine and chocolate that if you do stop you are instantly addicted and keep coming back, must keep coming back ... 1855 S. 700 East, 487-8100.


BEST THAI -Readers Choice

Thai Siam

You may have to face a crowd to get a prime-time table in this intimate State Street restaurant, but there’s a reason. See, people have this funny tendency to flock to delicious fare like the coconut soup and deep-fried tofu tod, and they appreciate it even more when you get portions that can serve two for less than eight bucks. They’ve even learned over time that at Thai Siam, a request for “mild” spices usually means “medium,” “medium” means “hot” and “hot” means “I can’t feel my tongue.” And it’s even a better bargain for lunch, if that’s possible. 1435 S. State, 474-3322.

2. Bangkok Thai

3. Lemon Grass


BEST VEGETARIAN -Readers Choice

Sage’s Café

How now, mad cow? If you’re really serious about going vegetarian—nay, really serious about going vegan—then you have lots of choices besides alfalfa sprouts and peanut butter sandwiches. With vegetarianism as a trend fast approaching a fashion statement, it’s good we have a restaurant reminding us that it can be all about yummy meals as well. Dare any skeptical omnivore to take a bite of Sage’s Philly Cheeze Steak and see what happens, or just lounge about for one of the restaurant’s stellar breakfast items. A recent remodel, plus chefs with superlative taste in indie music, virtually ensure your every vegetarian dining pleasure. 473 E. Broadway, 322-3790.

2. Oasis Café

3. Singing Cricket Café


BEST VIETNAMESE -Readers Choice

Café Trang

In Best of Utah 2003, we wrote we had a hunch “we’ll be talking about them the same time next year.” Well, how’s this for prescience. All right, it hardly took Nostradamus; Café Trang has been a perennial victor in this category. But they also continue to provide the jaw-dropping variety that keeps customers coming back for one of the hundred menu items they’ve never sampled—as well as the quality that makes every choice a good one. And it certainly doesn’t hurt to have both downtown and Holladay locations for regional variance. Early prediction for 2005, anyone? 818 S. Main, 539-1638; 4835 S. Highland Dr., 278-8889.

2. Bangkok Thai

3. Lemon Grass


FOOD & DRINK


BEST APPETIZERS -Readers Choice

Third & Main

You pretty much know you’re in the hands of a capable appetizer chef when said chef can make even the humble fried dill pickle taste like a savory, one-of-a-kind warm-up to the main course. So just imagine what possibilities wait when you try Third & Main’s herbed crostini, sun dried tomato and olive tapenade joined with blue cheese, celery, walnuts, mustard basil and balsamic onions. That’s what they call a Hot Canape Trio, and it’s one of the surprisingly few appetizers that take the air of customization. Standbys like chicken wings and calamari are just as serviceably delicious. 280 S. Main, 364-4600.

2. Samba Grill

3. Mikado


BEST AFFORDABLE
WINE DINNERS

Baci Trattoria

Plenty of restaurants around town offer occasional wine dinners, often priced well over a hundred bucks per person. By contrast, Gastronomy’s wine guru Wendy Caron and Baci Trattoria offer enjoyable wine education for a pittance. For $40 at Baci’s monthly wine dinners, customers get a multi-course meal along with selected wine pairings and a little bit of Wendy’s wine expertise to boot, not to mention an enjoyable evening. It’s the way to become a wine snob without a financial windfall. 134 W. Pierpont Ave., 328-1500.


BEST BURGERS -Readers Choice

Crown Burger

It’s a given that the Crown throws down a meaner-than-all-get-outta-here pastrami burger. But the beauty of the Crown is its variety. So the next time you’re stuck gofering lunch for the office, you can’t go wrong with the Crown. Cooks prepare your meal in plain sight, just beyond the front counter. Take comfort that no disgruntled grill man’s off-the-menu garnish will ever turn up in your side salad. And while they’re undoubtedly hell on the arteries, we hear the onion rings are second-to-none. 2684 S. 3200 West, 972-8586; 118 N. 300 West, 532-5300; 3190 S. Highland Dr., 467-6633; 377 E. 200 South, 532-1155; 3270 S. State, 463-6644.

2. Training Table

3. Hires Big H


BEST TEMPURA

Kyoto

Absolutely one of Salt Lake’s best-kept secrets, this award-winning restaurant is best known by the neighborhood locals who frequent it, although people do come from far and wide for their authentic-to-the-core Japanese fare. Many come for the tempura, lightly battered and flavorful meats, seafood and vegetables prepared by native Japanese chefs. Teriyaki or sukiyaki selections are available. Try the miso soup, too, which never fails. Oh, and the sushi ... just wonderful sushi at Kyoto. 1080 E. 1300 South, 487-3525.

BEST ALL-NIGHT NACHOS

The Galley

Most bars and clubs in our fine city of salt close around 1 or 2 a.m., at which time, anyone still trying to live the high life is forced to do so in a sticky booth at Denny’s, surrounded by insomniac high schoolers. This should not be. And it doesn’t have to be. Open 24-hours a day, and allowing only those 21 and older through its doors, the Galley is the perfect place to let your night wind down. They serve beer as long as they’re able, and a full menu of breakfast, appetizers and Mexican food all night (and day) long. Play pool and hog the jukebox to your li’l party-in’ heart’s content. And please, try the nachos, they’re delish. 64 W. 400 South, 961-9900.


BEST BAR SNACKS

The Spur

If you think bar food has to mean peanuts, chicken wings, and pizzas, you haven’t been to The Spur, where they take their bar snacks “seriously.” The fish tacos with chili-mayo are dee-lish and so are the crab fritters, served with poblano chile coulis and corn-jalapeño muffins. The Serrano ham crostini is also a crowd pleaser. But the knockout punch comes in the form of an ahi and hamachi sashimi “tower” topped with tobiko caviar, pineapple shoyu, and wasabi aioli. This definitely ain’t your daddy’s bar grub! 350 1/2 Main, Park City, 435-615-1618.


BEST BBQ & RIBS -Readers Choice

SugarHouse Barbeque Co.

Yes, “BBQ” and “Ribs” were autonomous entries on the Best of Utah ballot, but the readers apparently consider them inseparable, so why shouldn’t we? We’ve also told you in the past that the yummy secret to SugarHouse BBQ’s ribs is the rub, that the sides rule and the Memphis-style flavors of the chicken and pulled-pork selection are bigger than the seating space—no longer true on the last one, they’ve expanded. Everything else still applies. 2207 S. 700 East, 463-4800.

2. Q4U

3. Rib Alley


BEST BREAKFAST -Readers Choice

Blue Plate Diner

Unlike lunch and dinner, which people never skip for some reason, breakfast demands respect. Blue Plate Diner is happy to regard this most regal of meals in just such a fashion. Along with all the usual suspects—omelets, pancakes, gourmet coffee drinks, French toast, etc.—the morning diner gets a special feature few other restaurants seem to bother with. That is, of course, the weekdays breakfast special. Try Blue Plate’s scrumptious corn cakes on Thursday, or wait ‘til Friday for savory salmon, shrimp Havarti and avocado frittatas. All the other offerings are accorded equal care and respect by Blue Plate’s staff, and you just haven’t lived until you’ve saddled up to the Diner’s original bar, straight from Salina, Utah. 2041 S. 2100 East, 463-1151.

2. Ruth’s Diner

3. Over the Counter Café


BEST TAPAS

Café Madrid

With a menu conceived and prepared by internationally recognized award-winning Spanish chef Nacho Basurto, Café Madrid’s tapas are the real McCoy. Cold tapas include sardine filets with onion, cheese, and vinaigrette, appetizer plates of cured Spanish meats and cheeses, and chopped tuna with “piquillo” pepper and onion. Then there are a dozen warm tapas, from ham or spinach croquettes and paprika-seasoned octopus to shrimp wrapped in bacon with cream sauce and sautéed oyster and shiitake mushrooms. And how can you possibly go wrong with a chef named Nacho? 2080 E. 3900 South, 273-0837.



BEST BIG PORTIONS -Readers Choice

Famous Dave’s

You know you’re talking food for serious appetites when it’s served on a garbage can lid. Famous Dave’s BBQ feast serves 4-5 (or more likely six) on a full slab of ribs, a whole chicken, and half a pound of brisket, pork or ham—plus side dishes—for $50. That’s quite a mouthful for ten bucks a head. Or maybe you’d opt for a simpler BBQ entrée or a specialty burger—each of which still supplies half a pound of meat. Then top it off with the Famous Sunday, with hot fudge or pecan praline sauce—yep, it’s massive. Just tell your arteries this is a special occasion. 1166 E. Fort Union (Midvale), 566-4442; 7273 Plaza Center Dr. (West Jordan),
280-8844.

2. Samba Grill

3. Buca di Beppo


BEST THAI TAPAS

Bangkok Thai

Bangkok Thai is likely the only place serving Thai tapas (small, shared plates of food à la Spain), but this is just one more stimulating innovation at what is one of Utah’s best restaurants—they’ve won here over a dozen times. For only $20, you can choose from a wide selection of special plates, including tofu cake in chu chee curry, lamb in creamy garlic sauce, seasoned grilled shrimp or black mussels in Panang curry. Five selections go for $24 and six for $28. Their Meatless Mondays are still a hit, so get on board with Thai tapas, we say. 1400 S. Foothill, 582-8424.


BEST ITALIAN MARKET

Tony Caputo’s Market & Deli

Tony would be a good guy in any land. You ever seen him scowl? (Relatives cannot answer). Ever seen him annoyed at the most seemingly arcane and difficult sausage or cheese question? Ever seen him stumped on the subject of olive oil? The ever-smiling proprietor of Tony Caputo’s Market & Deli really knows his linguini. Not only that, as if he’s not preoccupied enough with spearheading the hot economic development around Pioneer Park, he also devotes time and energy to another favorite cause: Italians. This past summer Tony and several friends launched their own annual Italian civic pride festival, a wonderful and overdue homage to Calabrians and Sicilians everywhere. Due to those men and women, Salt Lake City just got more livable by a couple of days. 308 W. 300 South, 531-8669.


BEST BURRITOS -Readers Choice

Café Rio

Who knew there were so many ways to enjoy fresh, made-to-order burritos? It’s all about freedom of choice at Café Rio. Just how do you like your burrito? Which type of beans, toppings, sauces? You decide, you choose, you say! Yes, it is fast (your order is prepared by assembly line before your eyes), and it is fast food (dishes are served in foil containers which you can take to your table or to your home)—but fast food never came in such huge portions, using such fresh ingredients and tasting as divine as Café Rio’s. Café Rio burritos solve that comfort-food craving in a hurry. 3025 E. 3300 South, 463-7250; 6985 S. Park Central Drive, 562-4431.

2. Beto’s

3. Barbacoa


BEST S.O.B.

P.J.’s

No, not Jack behind the bar—he’s cool. The S.O.B. in question here is the Steak On a Bun, a no-nonsense sandwich served up at P.J.’s, an old-school nightclub known for its tasty slabs of beef. The S.O.B. couldn’t be much simpler: Just a juicy steak on a fresh bread bun, and damn is it fine. 3165 S. 1300 East, 466-0838.


BEST MEAL-ON-A-SKEWER

Greek Market & Deli

Gourmands say you can tell the caliber of an eating establishment by the company it keeps. In this part of the world, when it comes to grilled meat, hulking Dodge 4x4’s parked outside are a sign you’re on the scent—and if a couple of sheriff’s vehicles are in the mix, you’ve arrived. The Greek Market & Deli is such a place. If it’s spot-on noon, prepare to line up for succulent lamb gyros cocooned in warm pita and spiked with tomatoes, onions and yogurt. For a true lunch break Bacchanal, try the Mezzedakia platter with skewers of tangy marinated pork and chicken and a slab of fresh feta. Headed to a matinee at the Century 16? You’ll likely find yourself reminiscing more about the food than the film. 3205 S. State, 485-9365.


BEST CHEAP & LATE LUNCH

Pier 49 Pizza

It’s a sad commentary that by 2 p.m. on most weekdays, much of downtown Salt Lake City is a ghost town. But for those who stick around, Pier 49 offers 2-for-1 pizza slices from 2-4 p.m. The divine sourdough pie is a steal at $2.50 for two slices. 53 Gallivan Ave., 364-2974.


BEST COFFEE -Readers Choice

Salt Lake Roasting Co.

If your coffee criteria begins and ends at “hot,” “cold” or “whatever’s left in the pot at Maverick,” you’d best steer clear of the Salt Lake Roasting Co. The local java emporium’s vast selection of beans from the Africas, the Americas and the Pacific Rim, as well as dark roasts, decafs and special house blends (like the pleasant Hawaiian Surprise and the ominously-named Morning Thunder) can be intimidating to those who don’t take their coffee as seriously as they should. 320 E. 400 South, 363-7572, www.roasting.com.

2. Millcreek Coffee

3. Beans & Brews


BEST CHICKEN FRIED STEAK

Chick’s Café

It’s not really chicken and it’s not really steak. But for 50 years now Chick’s Café has been serving the best chicken fried steak in Utah, and maybe in the Universe. It’s tender and crispy, served with a mountain of mashed spuds and delicious homemade white gravy, with a scone the size of your head on the side for good measure. The term “stick to your ribs” was invented to do justice to Chick’s chicken fried steak. 154 S. Main, Heber, 435-654-1771


Best Rather Large Sandwiches

Grove Market

Truth is, the sandwiches at Grove Market are not rather large, they’re HUGE and GARGANTUAN, but we’ve used those words to describe the MONSTROSITIES served at the Grove Market about a hundred times already in years past. For instance, their Italian Meatball Sandwich could fairly be mistaken for a BOCCIE BALL and any one of their other standard fares like ham or turkey are nearly the weight and shape of a Volkswagon Jetta. A Grove sandwich can typically feed up to four people, depending on how you slice them. The only person we’ve seen eat a whole one is Joe Caputo. 1906 S. Main, 467-8860.


BEST COFFEE & CREPES

Greenhouse Effect

Go ornate with fruit toppings, or go simple with maple syrup or cinnamon—either way, the morning Joe goes better with a golden-crispy crepe (it’s a very thin, very French pancake, bubba) than some bland ol’ bagel or donut. The Greenhouse Effect—a funky eatery near the corner of 3300 South and 900 East—do coffee and crepes right, they’re open past midnight, cool tunes flow, and they even have a recycling bin out back. Sweet. 3231 S. 900 East,
483-0885.


BEST CUP OF COCOA

Cocoa Café

Most of us here at City Weekly don’t know from cocoa. We like our Ouzo at night and black coffee the morning after. But this cozy spot (which also serves premium imported coffee in a variety of formats, including in a bowl) has the real deal Italian hot ciacolate—the kind you practically eat with a spoon. They remove less fat from cocoa in Italy, and have none of the alkalis of Dutch processing, resulting in a more intense chocolate flavor. Some find it too rich, but isn’t that the point? A fireplace and comfy chairs enhance the European experience. 282 E. 900 South, 364-3332.


BEST DRINKS -Readers Choice

Third & Main

A martini is just a martini, but at Third & Main it’s the starting point for a bevy of creative variations on a classic. How about a raspberry martini, with Absolut Kurant, Chambord and sweet & sour? Or the tangier fruit zip of a mandrini (Absolut Mandarin, orange liqueur and Chambord)? For the unabashed coffee junkie, there’s the Stoli, Kahlua and chilled espresso concoction called the capputini? And don’t forget their own Main-tini (Ketel One and Bombay Sapphire with bleu cheese-stuffed olives). Finish up with a recipe of vodka, DeKuyper Peachtree Schnapps and cream—because an evening’s always better when it ends with Velvet Panties. 280 S. Main, 364-4600.

2. Oyster Bar

3. The Red Door


BEST MEZEDAKIA

Aristo’s

The Greek appetizers called “mezedakia” are a good introduction to Greek cuisine. And the biggest selection of “mezedakia” in town is found at Aristo’s. There are the predictable offerings of hummus, fried calamari, olives, peppers, and feta cheese. But then there are also the less obvious choices, like dips called “scordalia,” “melizanosalata,” and “taramasalata,” along with a meat assortment known as “pikilia” and deep fried smelts called “marides.” Of course, for the less adventurous you’ll also find standbys like gyros and souvlaki on Aristo’s menu.
224 S. 1300 East, 581-0888


BEST PHILLY CHEESESTEAK SANDWICH

Moochie’s Meatballs & More

Joanna Rendi has wanted to offer the food she loved in Philadelphia since she moved to Salt Lake City. And when husband Don MacDonald bought a new building to house his pottery school, she created a niche in the rear of the Circle Pottery Gift Shop to try her hand at making a business out of cheesesteak sandwiches and homemade Italian pasta, meatballs, marinara sauce and salads. Once you start dropping in it’s hard to stay away. We’ve said it before: These cheesesteak sandwiches are as close to the real deal as you’ll find this side of the Rockies. And if you are a virgin to this particular culinary delight, you’ll think you died and went to heaven. Really. 232 E. 800 South,
596-1350.


BEST ENCHILADAS -Readers Choice

Red Iguana

It’s a production, really; it’s inspiring; it’s downright exciting to walk through the unassuming doors of the bustling Red Iguana. You’re greeted by a team of food-serving pros: someone to seat you, someone to hydrate you with water, someone to dehydrate you with chips and hot salsa, and someone to speak very sweetly and warmly about your food choices. And that order had better include one of eight enchilada menu offerings, the traditional ones are topped with a homemade sauce of New Mexico and Pasilla chilies. Others are served in casserole dishes, drenched in spicy mole sauces. There’s even enchiladas “a la Lago Salado,” corn tortillas filled with potatoes and chorizo, made just for the people of Salt Lake City. A whole lotta enchilada! 736 W. North Temple,
322-1489.

2. Rio Grande Café

3. La Frontera


BEST FONDUE

Juhl Haus Market & Deli

Let’s be honest: Is there really anything you’d rather put in your mouth than melted cheese? We didn’t think so. Juhl Haus’ Saturday evening fondue parties have become wildly popular due mostly to the aphrodisiac qualities of Gruyere and Emmental melted together with a splash of wine, kirsch and lemon juice. Just try to avoid spilling molten cheese on your date; it can really put the kibosh on an otherwise erotic cheesy evening. 1336 Foothill Drive, 582-7758.


BEST FRENCH FRIES -Readers Choice

Crown Burger

Are we over the whole "Freedom Fries" nonsense yet? Whatever. Crown Burger’s fat, golden-crisp fries are back on top of the plate for Best of Utah 2004, which only makes sense: In tandem with their reader-favored burgers, it’s as perfect a nosh combo as there is in Zion. With no salt overkill (à la McDonald’s) nor flaccid greasiness (ditto, Burger King), CB’s french fries indeed rule. 2684 S. 3200 West, 972-8586; 118 N. 300 West, 532-5300; 3190 S. Highland Dr., 467-6633; 377 E. 200 South, 532-1155; 3270 S. State, 463-6644.

2. Training Table

3. Hires Big H


BEST GRITS -Readers Choice

Karen’s Café (Ogden)

As passionately submitted by reader Bob Bowen: “You advertise your Best of Utah program as inclusive of the obscure. My offering is grits, and the best grits in Utah are at Karen’s Café on 25th Street in Ogden on weekends. I’m sure there are other displaced Southerners like myself who would appreciate the real thing, not the instant ones at Denny’s or Cracker Barrel. It took me 15-and-a-half years to find Karen’s; give obscurity a real chance.” There ya go, Bob. 242 25th St., Ogden, 801-392-0345.


BEST FRIED FISH

Neil’s Halibut & Chips

We don’t have a clue who Neil is, or how he came to make superior fish and chips. Given there’s nothing fishy in the name of this place, we just figured Neil is really a seafaring captain, but didn’t want to brag about it by naming his place Captain Neil’s Harbor House of Halibut. Just Neil’s. That’s quite appropriate for this unpretentious, if slightly kitchy (in a good way), strip mall eatery right across from Cottonwood Mall. The batter on Neil’s halibut is just right and the pieces are big and bulky, firm and flavorful. It’s simply hard not to like this place. Neil’s also serves up some killer fish tacos, and if you’re looking for a unique and special fry sauce, you’ll find it here. 4870 S. Highland Dr.,
424-9000.


BEST FRY SAUCE -Readers Choice

Hires Big H

You may think fry sauce is just ketchup and mayonnaise, but we ask you: Is wine just smashed grapes? You can tell that Hires Big H takes its fry sauce extra-seriously, because you won’t find it dispensed from a pump. You can take it home at $4 a pint, and you’ve got to pay a little extra if you request it with your order—sort of like a call brand. But mixed alcoholic beverage metaphors aside, the Salt Lake City burger joint delivers a zesty yet creamy version of the Utah fast food staple—piquant, yet not too precocious on the tongue. 425 S. 700 East, 364-4582; 835 E. Fort Union Blvd., 561-2171; 2900 W. 4700 South, 965-1010.

2. Crown Burger

3. Arctic Circle


BEST GYROS -Readers Choice

Greek Souvlaki

Slices of roasted lamb and beef, subtly spiced and wrapped in warm pita with a few veggies and your choice of red (tomato-based) or white (yogurt-based) sauce—this is Greek comfort food you can eat on the run, if you don’t mind the above-mentioned sauce running down arms and shirt. Otherwise, settle in with City Weekly (if they haven’t run out) and some excellent iced tea and relax. You’ll get sauce all over yourself anyway. Nature of the beast. 404 E. 300 South, 322-2062; 1446 S. State, 487-3481; 2192 W. 3500 South, 973-4976.

2. Yanni’s

3. Mad Greek


BEST LAMB

Morgan Valley Lamb

If you think you have to look to New Zealand for world-class lamb products, think again. Utah’s best chefs swear by the Morgan Valley Lamb of Delta, Utah. Jamie and Linda Gillmore produce all natural hormone-free lamb a mere stone’s throw away from Ogden and offer everything from lamb shanks for osso bucco and rack of lamb to skinless lamb chorizo and Italian lamb sausage. For lamb lovers, Morgan Valley Lamb is the Holy Grail. www.MorganValleyLamb.com.


BEST LOCALLY BREWED BEER -Readers Choice

Squatters

This is usually a Best of Utah category that seesaws from year to year between a couple of our fine local breweries, but Squatters has finally gone and broke the cycle with a twofer: 2003 and now 2004, even without the flesh-and-blood Provo Girl (we miss you, Alise) out there stirring up trouble and breaking hearts. And if a better local beer than the Full Suspension Pale Ale never comes along, we’re cool with that.

2. Wasatch

3. Uinta

BEST

COFFEE HOUSE -Readers Choice

Coffee Garden

The first café to introduce Seattle-style coffees to town was also one of the pioneers in serving politically and humanely correct fair-trade brews which owner Alan Hebertson buys from Logan’s wonderful Caffe Ibis. The Garden is always filled with friendly folk and offers a great vantage point for people-watching. 898 S. 900 East, 355-3425.

2. Salt Lake Roasting Co.

3. Salt Lake Coffee Break


BEST MENUDO

La Puente Restaurant

If you believe the adage about laws and sausages—you don’t want to know how they are made—then you may never question what goes into menudo. But, we’ll tell you anyway: the primary ingredient of this tasty soup is tripe, the lining of a bovine’s stomach, stewed along with hominy and an array of spices and peppers. Menudo may also be served with calves feet, and La Puente is “muy autentico” on that score. Back in the day, poor or frugal people didn’t waste a thing, including the insides of barnyard animals (the estate owners ate the best parts, natch). Besides being hailed as a worthy hangover remedy, menudo in the Mexican culture is akin to the comfort foods from any other culture: traditional, warm and assuring. 3434 S. State, 466-1194; 1995 E. 3300 South,
463-7578.


BEST LUNCH SPECIALS

Cannella’s

The $6.50 weekday lunch specials at Cannella’s are the reason you’ll find lines extending to the sidewalk. The specials include garlic bread and a fresh house salad, not to mention delicious main dishes like turkey Tetrazzini on Thursdays and Friday’s popular special of clam linguini. Straying from the Italian theme, on Tuesdays the French dip sandwich virtually flies out the door. Even at these low prices, the extra-friendly Cannella’s service is free! 204 E. 500 South, 355-8518.


BEST PIZZA -Readers Choice

The Pie

It was already a year-in, year-out winner when it was “just” the best place for U of U students to grab a slice; you think that’s gonna change now that folks in Midvale get to share the love? South-enders are now privy to what the U crowd has known for years—that The Pie makes pizzas as though they were an architectural challenge, loading them up with fresh and delicious toppings by the metric ton. And they even understand that the urge can strike late at night. Now that Midvale location just needs customers to help break in a new graffiti wall. 1320 E. 200 South, 582-5700; 7186 S. Union Park Ave., Midvale, 233-1999.

2. Wasatch Pizza Co.

3. Big Apple Pizza


BEST POZOLE

Loco Lizard

Pozole is a hearty dish originating in Guadalajara, Mexico, sort of a cross between a soup and a stew. And no one does “pozole” and better than the folks at Loco Lizard. It’s a delicious steaming bowl of pork, hominy, red chile, and onions in a luscious homemade broth and garnished with traditional oregano leaves, shredded cabbage, and sliced radishes. Along with being just plain yummy, Loco Lizards “pozole” is also a curative for one too many tequila shots the night before. 6550 S. 3000 East, Salt Lake City, 453-9400 and 1612 Ute Blvd., Park City 435-645-7000.


BEST SALADS -Readers Choice

Singing Cricket Café

Connected to Dancing Cranes Imports, this cozy little place is cute as a bug (just had to do that, ya know). Singing Cricket’s gourmet salads are outstanding, but so are its lettuce-wrapped sandwiches (like turkey and Swiss with cranberry mustard) and special pasta dishes (like stuffed asparagus raviolis). Listen to our readers and just go give it a try. 673 E. Simpson Ave. (2240 South), 486-0056.

2. Café Rio

3. Desert Edge Pub


BEST QUICK FIX FOR HAPPINESS

The Bakery’s Chocolate Decadence

Certain studies have shown that eating chocolate and exercising generate similar pleasure-producing brain chemicals. Let’s see here. Running? Or chocolate? Why exercise when eating makes you just as happy? However your happiness is too important to rely on mere Hershey’s. The Bakery’s Chocolate Decadence is not quite cake, not quite cheesecake. What it is is decadent. Chocolate. Decadent chocolate so thick and rich you’ll barely be able to make it all the way through a slice. But you won’t be able to stop either. ... If the intensity is just too much to bear, try a porcupine (a chocolate raspberry confection), or one of myriad other non-chocolate pastries, or one of their delicious soups or sandwiches. 250 S. 300 East, 328-3330.


BEST SANDWICHES -Readers Choice

Gandolfo’s

There’s a reason Gandolfo’s has been one of few strongholds on Main Street for the past eight years. Two words: Knuckle Sandwich. It’s pastrami piled high on sourdough bread, stacked with marinated Italian mushrooms, olives, lettuce, tomato, melted mozzarella and cheddar cheeses, and slathered with butter, mayo, oil, vinegar, and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese that socks you in the mouth on the first bite. But the Knuckle Sandwich is special to the downtown Gandolfo’s; you can’t get it in the ’burbs. If your bland Utah taste buds aren’t up for the Knuckle, as Gandolfo’s night manager Paul suspects, he’s got a grip of turkey and roast beef selections that’ll do you just right. Also try the favored ranch-tortellini salad, one of six prepared daily on site. 158 S. Main, 322-3354; 719 E. 2100 South, 466-3866; numerous other Utah locations.

2. Tony Caputo’s Market & Deli

3. Grove Market


BEST SEAFOOD -Readers Choice

Market Street Grill

Rumor has it that, way back in the day, this was the first Salt Lake City restaurant ever to inaugurate the unveiling of a dessert tray. Whatever, Gastronomy Inc., was first to do lots of things right, and it pretty much kicked things off with this Salt Lake City seafood establishment. Whether it’s the Early Bird Special (before 7 p.m.) for discerning diners on a budget or any number of specials, you simply can’t do better than walk through these doors if it’s something from the sea that you hanker. Nothing fishy here, just fish and seafood done exceedingly right. 48 W. Market Street, 322-4668; 2985 E. 6580 South, 942-8860.

2. Oyster Bar

3. McGrath’s Fish House



BEST SNAKE CAKES

Café Diablo

As far as we can tell, you’ll need to head south down to Torrey if you get a hankering for rattlesnake cakes. Rattlesnake doesn’t appear on any Salt Lake restaurant menus that we’re aware of but at Torrey’s Café Diablo, place an order for rattlesnake cakes and you’ll get two patties of free range (is there any other kind?) desert rattler served with ancho-rosemary aioli. And if snake isn’t your thing, there’s also duck, black sea mussels, “painted” salmon, and wild mushrooms on the innovative Café Diablo menu—and those are just some of the appetizers. If exotic dining is your deal, follow up the snake cakes with a dish of buffalo tenderloin, quail and rabbit sausage. 599 W. Main, Torrey, 435-425-3070.


BEST SOUPS -Readers Choice

Soup Kitchen

Salt Lake’s local soup chain hearkens back to the Seinfeld episode about the Soup Nazi who browbeat his patrons. They endured his insults for bowls of ambrosia. As we’re not in New York or in a sitcom (at least not that we know of), you won’t be intimidated or overcharged at the Soup Kitchen. The Sugar House restaurant is more like a deli/diner with the menu and daily specials written in chalk on a blackboard. Choose between about seven homemade soups (tomato and cheese-broccoli being the crowd pleasers), made fresh each day. Breadsticks come with your soup order. Sandwiches and salads can be paired with soups or daily specials and desserts. Families thrive here as the price is right and the casual, informal atmosphere lets kids be kids. Summer gazpacho is divine. 2012 S. 1100 East, 467-0908; 1411 S. Redwood Road, 974-7910; 422 W. 600 North, 531-0560; 15 W. 3300 South, 486-0341; 1185 S. Richards, 531-7093.

2. Big City Soup

3. Singing Cricket Cafe


BEST SQUID

Little World Chinese Restaurant

Sure, you can always find fried calamari at your favorite Italian eatery. But serious squid enthusiasts know that Little World is squid central. On any given night at Little World you’ll find on the menu sautéed squid, squid with soy sauce, preserved cabbage with squid, squid with black bean sauce, salt baked squid, and Chinese fresh vegetables with, yes, squid. 1356 S. State, 467-5213.


BEST STEAKS -Readers Choice

Spencer’s for Steaks & Chops

That’s way too much meat, you say in disbelief. But I guarantee you’ll devour every scrap of Spencer’s 22 oz. bone-in rib eye. And when you’re done, the $40 check will feel like a steal. The process begins with the finest USDA prime grade steaks—better quality than 97 percent of the beef in the world—culled from the infamous Chicago stockyards. The cuts are aged about three weeks to the perfect tenderness and flavor. Then, using an infrared broiler, Spencer’s sears the slabs at 1700 degrees. The fats and juices are sealed and the beef is instantly tenderized. Sous-chef Warren Bullock says that he occasionally gets an overzealous diner who won’t stop until he has sucked out every last drop of the sweet marrow. Now that’s a piece of meat. 255 S. West Temple (inside the Hilton),
238-4748.

2. Fleming’s

3. Christopher’s


BEST HOT HOT HIGH

UFO Dust

If your drug of choice is measured in Scoville units, Salt Lake City-produced UFO Dust—a 100-percent pure habeñero powder supposedly harvested off-planet—is a hot product you need to get your tongue on. It will mess you up, but it’s still legal in Utah. Wild Oats locations and Gastronomy restaurants, www.UFODust.com.


BEST SUSHI -Readers Choice

Ichiban

Housed in a 100-year-old former church (which you may remember in its Restaurante Della Fontana incarnation), this place lays claim to another unique factor: a Japanese-trained female sushi chef who learned the art on an LDS mission. It isn’t all raw fishies, either. Beginners can begin with California rolls, shrimp or crab sushi or Ichiban’s Jupiter Roll, made of cooked eel. Connoisseurs can delight in the tuna and yellowtail sashimi combo or any of the nigiri sushi choices. 336 S. 400 East, 532-7522.

2. Mikado

3. Happy Sumo


BEST VEGGIE WRAPS

Keeba’s

Anyone looking for a healthy lunch alternative should head over to Keeba’s, where the vegetarian wraps aren’t only good for you, they’re also great tasting. Keeba’s Greek wrap is made with crisp Romaine lettuce, feta cheese, Greek olives, hummus, and falafel, while the Mexicali is a zippy mix of black beans, cumin rice, roasted corn, raw milk Jack cheese, and fire-roasted salsa, all packaged up in a chipotle tortilla. For an Asian-influenced taste sensation, try the red pepper and curried tofu Thai wrap at Keeba’s, lightly kissed with yummy peanut dressing. 6522 S. Big Cottonwood Canyon Rd.,
272-3455.


BEST TACOS -Readers Choice

Red Iguana

Sometimes your hankering for tacos demands something that doesn’t come in a paper wrapper with sauce in a plastic pouch. You can certainly satisfy your taste for traditional crispy-shell beef or soft-tortilla chicken varieties at Red Iguana, but they also deliver creative varieties to get the mouth watering. How about tacos Don Ramon, with top sirloin and chorizo? Or maybe the scrumptious taco machaca con huevo (shredded beef and egg)? And you can probably save one for lunch the next day, since eating all three tacos in one sitting can leave you walking funny (trust us). The weekend wait is worth it. 736 W. North Temple, 322-1489.

2. Street vendors

3. Café Rio


BEST TUNA TOSTADA

Pasillas

The slogan at Pasillas Restaurant in Kamas is “When it’s time for a break from the ordinary.” There’s certainly nothing ordinary about the ahi tostada at Pasillas, made with fresh ahi tuna and topped with baby greens, green chiles, cheese, jalapeños, onions, olives, and guacamole and then drizzled with a sweet and spicy sauce. Also out of the ordinary is the smoked salmon goat cheese quesadilla at Pasillas. 185 S. Main, Kamas, 435-783-6982


BEST WIENER SCHNITZEL

Siegfried’s

Siegfried’s Delicatessen is renowned for German delicacies like bratwurst, weisswurst, liverwurst, blutwurst, and lots of other wursts. But man cannot live on sausage alone. So at Siegfried’s they also cook up the best Wiener schnitzel this side of Bavaria. There are no wieners in wienerschnitzel: It’s just tender boneless pork pounded thin, then breaded and flash-fried to a crisp crust. Just a squeeze of lemon, a dash of salt, and side dishes of sauerkraut and spaetzle and you’ve got a simple and sublime German meal. 20 W. 200 South, 355-3891.



THE ACTIVE LIFE

NIGHT


BEST DIVE -Readers Choice

Burt’s Tiki Lounge

You know it, we know it, even glossy national magazines stuffed with half-nekkid women who would never be caught dead in a joint like this know it: Burt’s Tiki Lounge is a dive above dives. Read on ... 726 S. State, 521-0572.

2. Twilight Lounge

3. Todd’s Bar & Grill

BEST UNDEAD CLUB NIGHT

Club Dead’s Zombie Night

In a twist on Salt Lake City’s popular gay club nights, downtown hot spot Club Dead introduced Zombie Night on Halloween 2003 and has enjoyed totally “dead” Fridays every week since. Instead of watching Will & Grace and Queer as Folk on the club’s dozens of TV screens, undead patrons cozy up with a Decomposing Orgasm (house specialty drink) for back-to-back showings of CSI, Six Feet Under and Dead Like Me. After that, they shuffle the night away to the downtempo beats of DJ Defunct. 135 E. Romero, 555-8243.


BEST CHEESE PRESERVATION

Metal Gods at Liquid Joe’s

When Hollywood cover band Metal Gods (then less-rockingly named Danger Kitty) kicked off their weekly spandex-fest at Liquid Joe’s in September 2002, it looked like a cute gimmick that might last a month. Now, 74 Thursdays later, Nigel Thames and his interchangeable band of hair-farmers still pack ‘em in, having the last laugh on Bootie Quake, the M-80s and every other recent failed novelty import. Lesson learned? Heavy metal always has and always will rule, even when it’s played by businessmen in wigs. Disturbing side-effect? People who are still convinced that Metal Gods are a real band. Thursdays, Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, 467-JOES.


BEST DIVE RECOGNITION

Burt’s in Stuff

We’ve always known it, but the March 2004 issue of Stuff named SLC’s venerable Burt’s Tiki Lounge as one of the Top 20 Dive Bars in America, even though the men’s mag’s research staff ascertained that “Mormons don’t drink alcohol, engage in premarital sex or poop.” Cause to raise a Pabst for sure, but remember that the now-defunct Dead Goat Saloon made the annual Stuff list in 2002 and look what happened there. On the upside, a revamped Burt’s would have very tiny strippers.


BEST NO-LONGER-ALIVE MUSIC PERFORMANCE

Elvis at Zephyr Club

The closing of the Zephyr Club was mourned by many as the loss of one of downtown’s best live music venues, but stunned onlookers might have considered it all worth the impromptu performance they received on Nov. 1, 2003. People walking past the just-shuttered club stopped when they heard a familiar voice. Upon peering through the doors, they saw the apparition of Elvis Presley performing “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” “It was definitely him, in the big white suit and everything,” claimed Rachel Flittersen of Lehi. “I guess he’s really dead after all.” The King is dead, indeed—but not gone.


BEST CHEAP DRINKS -Readers Choice

Cheers to You

Some places, inexpensive drinks aren’t just a clever ploy for increased business—they’re a state of mind. At Bob Brown’s Main Street tavern, whatever you want is probably a quarter cheaper than you’d find it most anywhere else. Well drinks? Three bucks. Call brands? Three and a half. Pitchers? $7.25 or cheaper. And that’s not even saying anything about the weekly specials—which we will now proceed to say something about by naming, for example, the Thursday College Night $4-$5 pitchers. A fine evening of responsible social imbibing needn’t cost a second mortgage. 315 S. Main, 575-6400.

2. Tap Room

3. Burt’s Tiki Lounge


BEST AFTER-HOURS HANGOUT -Readers Choice

Salt Lake Coffee Break

Negotiate the gauntlet of clove-cigarette smoke, ignore the errant Nietzsche references, and Coffee Break could be your Saturday night crash pad, too. “When you’re sitting outside, and TRAX goes by, you don’t feel like you’re in Salt Lake City,” says one regular. Besides that bigger-city ambience, Coffee Break boasts some killer cuisine—sinful pastries, an awesome falafel sandwich and an eclectic array of teas. So plop down on a plush sofa and gander at some local art, or schmooze into the wee hours with the hipsters out on the patio. The doors are open ‘til 2 a.m. on weekdays and 3 a.m. on weekends, because Coffee Break is among the bold few willing to break downtown’s de facto curfew. And they have coffee, too! Who knew? 430 E. 400 South, 355-4244.

2. Spice

3. Dee’s


BEST BEER SELECTION/VARIETY (BOTTLE) -Readers Choice

The Bayou

In heaven, there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here—in Beervanna that is. The Bayou is all about variety—and with more than 180 bottle beers to choose from, some rare and hard-to-find, from around the world, there’s no need to cry in your beer. The best-selling Pilsner Urquell and Grant’s Perfect Porter chocolate-brown ale go well with the Bayou’s tempting Cajun-inspired cuisine, including etouffee, jambalaya, Southwest artichoke-cheese dip, and savory alligator cheesecake appetizers. The smoke’s not too thick here, the weekend jazz is mellow, the cozy downtown location is inviting. You’ll probably never make it through the Bayou’s bottle beer menu, but the real fun is in the sampling and sharing with friends. 645 S. State, 961-8400.

2. Port O’ Call

3. Squatters


BEST BEER SELECTION/VARIETY (TAP) -Readers Choice

The Bayou

It used to be that Utah beer drinkers and their Buds were joined at the lip. But slowly, it’s changing. Bud’s grip is not quite a stranglehold anymore. With 30 beers on tap (to say nothing of their bottled varieties), the Bayou has become the hops stop for local beer lovers. Its tap offerings are nearly all local microbrews except for Bud, Bud Light, Murphy’s and Guinness. Favorites include Bohemian’s Cherny Bock; Squatters’ Full Suspension Pale Ale, Provo Girl Pils, and Captain Bastard’s Oatmeal Stout; Wastach Brewery’s Hefe Weizen and 1st Amendment Lager; Uintah’s Cutthroat Pale Ale; Roosters’s Junction City Chocolate Stout and Two Bit Amber; and Moab’s Dead Horse Amber Ale, Scorpion Pale Ale and Deraillier Ale. Add to the mix a variety of Cajun-style dishes, jazz on the weekends, an upscale, airy atmosphere, it’s little wonder the Bayou is perennially tapped as Utah’s best.

2. Fiddler’s Elbow

3. Port O’ Call


BEST CLUB TO THRILL IN -Readers Choice

Shaggy’s Livin’ Room

Since it moved to bigger digs last summer, “Livin’ Room” doesn’t quite do this place justice anymore—with four simultaneous floors alternately raging and relaxing most every night of the week, Shaggy’s is a whole lotta club for your buck. And really, who’s actual living room has such funky-ass furniture? Besides Disco Stu, that is? 155 W. 200 South, 359-2215.

2. Axis

3. The Vortex


Best Cocktail Hour

Bambara

Utah passed some liquor laws a few years ago with the intent of taking the happy out of happy hour. The new laws made it illegal to have happy hour pricing, basically the only thing to be happy about during happy hour. What to do? Just call it something different, and for that, the best Cocktail Hour can be found at Bambara private club in Hotel Monaco. They don’t promote it as such, but it would be a long search to find a more comfortable setting and quality quaffs than here. You can also order appetizers (gotta go for the fried squid!)from the adjacent Bambara Restaurant. Call it what you will, this is a great place to end the day. 202 So. Main, 363-5454.


BEST CLUB TO SURVIVE A GREAT WHITE CONCERT

Phat Tire Saloon

The coolest rock bar in the locked-down city of Murray presented a show by the ’80s metal band best known for “Once Bitten, Twice Shy,” “Rock Me” and a little 2003 Rhode Island nightclub fire that killed 100 people—not that anyone expected it to ever happen again, but Great White’s March 12 appearance at the Phat Tire Saloon thankfully went off without a hitch or a spark. Still, no one’s holding their breath for the Altamont 35th anniversary tour. 7 E. 4800 South,
262-7428.


BEST CLUB TO CHILL IN -Readers Choice

The Red Door

The first thought that crosses your mind when entering The Red Door is that the mesh of color and theme seem achingly right. The second thought that crosses your mind after entering The Red Door is that this can’t possibly be a bar in Salt Lake City. If the thought that anyone would ever find libations next to an oversize mural of Che Guevera in this town boggles the mind, well, then, enjoy it while you can. This place ain’t kidding around when you’ve got more than 40 different martinis spanning four categories—”Classic,” “High Octane,” “Medium Octane,” “Decadent”—to choose from. Don’t sweat it. If you insist on being a nincompoop there are plenty of import beers to choose from, and the atmosphere alone will still make you über cool. 57 W. 200 South, 363-6030.

2. Piper Down

3. Mo Diggity’s


BEST NIGHT SKY ADVOCATES

Utah Skies

Stargazing in Park City used to be the thing to do, and not just when Sundance was in town! That’s because, as a small, rural town, Park City used to roll up its streets when the sun went down, and it got really dark. But now, not even Park City is immune from the bane of light pollution. Astronomy club Utah Skies decided to do something about wasteful ambient light washing out the night sky. The organization successfully pressured developer giant The Boyer Company to turn down its light output at the Redstone development at Kimball Junction. Utah Skies also hosts star parties at Trailside Park. Its Website (UtahSkies.org) offers ideas that are not-so-bright but ever-so-illuminating as to how neighborhoods and communities can “take back the night.” 165 E. 200 South, 746-3334.


BEST FOR DANCING (LIVE MUSIC) -Readers Choice

Port O’ Call

Breathe a sigh, friends—Port O’ Call’s here to stay. City Weekly has learned that downtown’s last bastion of nightlife recently earned an indefinite reprieve from the federal government’s wrecking ball. Take solace that Port O’ Call will remain the spot to shake your moneymaker. Whether it’s a big-name act, a big nobody or “DJ Wimpy” spinning for his life, thanks to Tino, Port O’ Call’s soundman extraordinaire, they all come off as world class. And to confirm their commitment to the bump-and-grind, Port O’ Call recently installed two state-of-the-art sound systems and a dance floor to accommodate up to 900 bootylicious rumps. 78 W. 400 South, 521-0589.

2. Liquid Joe’s

3. Harry O’s


BEST DIFFERENTLY-ABLED CINEMA EXPERIENCE

Carmike Theaters open-caption

multiplex movies

The THX theater sound system promotes its product with the slogan, “The audience is listening:” InSight Cinema counters with, “The audience is reading.” The L.A.-based company provides open-captioned versions of recent Hollywood releases for hearing-impaired movie buffs, and Carmike Theaters is a local member of its exhibitor network. At the Ritz 15 in West Valley and the Wynnsong in Provo, those who can’t be part of the listening audience can still enjoy The Cat in the Hat. Okay, “enjoy” may be too strong a word, but still ... 3217 S. Decker Lake Dr., 973-4386.

BEST GAY CLUB -Readers Choice

Mo Diggity’s

Sometimes the gay club scene tends to be too much of a scene. Well, Diggity’s is more like a community center. On Monday nights, the ladies gather ’round the tube for reruns of the Showtime series The L Word. Pool tournaments, poker for charity, and round-the-clock sports coverage on eight TVs, two of which are big screens, gives Diggity’s the kind of variety that’s hard to find in a dance club. Co-owner Babs Delay—real estate maven, radio DJ, Vagina Monologues emcee—is shaping up to be Salt Lake City’s first bona fide lesbian celebrity. Dig it! 3424 S. State, 832-9000.

2. Trapp Door

3. Paper Moon


BEST GAME ROOM

Club 90

If there is an aptly named game room in Utah, it’s the one at Club 90. Not only do gamers find an array of appropriate games—pool, pinball machines, darts, etc—but their eyes are fixed on the game that surrounds them wall-to-wall throughout this adjunct to this spacious dinner and dance club. Oh, let’s see, there are about four moose, an equal number of elk, a buffalo or two, lots of fish and game birds, deer and even a mountain lion. There’s also some kind of boar or pig mounted up there, pointy teeth and all, like the pig that did-in Old Yeller. Don’t call PETA, most of these relics were donated and are older than the hills, dating from an era when hunters actually shot with rifles, not cameras. 150 W. 9065 South, 566-3254.


BEST WARM AND FUZZY FEELING FOR THE GATEWAY

Gas-Burning Hand-Warming Stations

Many people did wonder how an outdoor mall would fare in coldish Utah. But at least you don’t have to freeze your butt off anymore on a cold winter’s eve. On the lower street level, developers have placed a few gas log units (what else could you call them?) so shoppers (or whatever they are) can huddle between sprints from store to store to restaurant to parking lot.

BEST HEAVY METAL LINKS

www.UtahMetal.com

Because, when you think about it, where else are you going to find Website links to obscure Zion heavy-metal bands like Malignant Inception, Terra Noir, The Obliterate Plague and Sp"rk, all in one convenient location? Also dig the cool concert photography and show calendars ... if you dare.


BEST HIPSTER HANG

The Urban Lounge

It’s not unusual to walk into the Urban Lounge and feel like maybe you’re not quite cool enough to be there; with the possible exception of Mike Sartain, it’s happened to everyone, so don’t sweat it. When a local band is playing, you know there’s something special about them, and if a national band makes it in, even more so—a selective booking process (i.e. never answering the phone) weeds out the less-worthy touring acts. But, you can hang with the cool kids—unless you believe yourself to be a cool kid, in which case you’re not. That’s how it works. 241 S. 500 East, 746-0558.


BEST FOR DANCING (DJS) -Readers Choice

Axis

Remember the days when the only reasons to venture past 300 West after dark were Bricks and Axis? It’s a better party world on the west side now, but Axis remains the, well, axis—trendy beats, multiple dance floors, pretty people, prettier staff, international DJ sets, not to mention the non-dance-related weekend combo of Nova Starr’s Platinum Pussy drag shows and Ultimate Combat fights. 108 S. 500 West, 519-2947.

2. Naked

3. Area 51


BEST JPEG VOYEURISM

www.SLCParty.com

Gaze upon it, homely Web surfers: Page after digital page of impossibly gorgeous clubbers having way more sweaty dance-floor fun than you even knew existed in your sleepy lil’ mountain town. Best part: Occasionally spotting your own bad self hoisting a Corona at some genius Ibiza DJ bash of the week. Worst part: Spotting your friends and wondering why you never got that text-message invite. So sad.


BEST LIVE KARAOKE

This Is Your Band (The Westerner)

Even devout karaoke crooners realize that pre-recorded backing tracks are a lame substitute for kicking it in front of a live band, but a human band would have to have an inhuman setlist of songs at their disposal to compete with a machine. A group of local music vets solved the dilemma with This Is Your Band, karaoke with real instruments and somewhere near 400 popular songs at their fingertips, literally. This Is Your Band throws down every Tuesday night at The Westerner. Tuesdays, 3360 S. Redwood Road, www.ThisIsYourBand.com.


BEST LIVE KARAOKE FOR PUNKS

Punk Rock Karaoke (Egos)

As hard as it may be to admit that we’ve come to the point in rock history that there are actually “punk classics,” you know you want to slam a few brewskies, climb on a stage and belt out something—hell, anything—by the Ramones. Anyone attempting to do this to computerized backing tracks would (rightfully) be stomped, so Egos’ monthly Punk Rock Karaoke night was born: You pick a tune, a band of surly local-punk lifers bang it out if they know it (or even if they don’t), you’re Johnny Rotten for three minutes. Ain’t that what punk was/is all about? 668 S. State, 521-5255.


BEST MULTI-PURPOSE DIVE

Todd’s Bar & Grill

Hip local punk rawk? Got it. Off-the-hook karaoke nights? Check. Popular gay night? Oh yeah. Cheap booze and tasty food? Of course. A comfy-cool patio? Sure thing. For a so-called “dive” on the west side, Todd’s Bar & Grill has a busy and diverse weekly plate, and yet it’s still a great place to simply duck into and chill. Nice trick. 1051 S. 300 West, 328-8650.


BEST MUSIC CLUB MAKEOVER

Sound

Used to be, you’d go to a show at Bricks and inevitably be grilled at the door, “You here for the concert or for Gay Night?” No such difficult decisions anymore, as dance-club Bricks has become the far more live-music-oriented Sound, a still-in-the-works-but-viable replacement for sadly defunct SLC clubs like the Zephyr (bands, local and touring, most every night), the Dead Goat (blues on Monday) and perhaps even the fabled Speedway Café (a large all-ages section of the building called In the Venue). But, until The Darkess come to play, no Gay Night, sorry. 579 W. 200 South, 328-0255.


BEST PIANO POSSE

The Tavernacle

Most nightclubs are lucky to find one decent pianist to entertain their patrons—dueling-piano hotspot the Tavernacle features a regular roster of four skilled ivory-ticklers: Kirk Garrett (the classical guy), Michael Rogers (the rock guy), Wayne Christiansen (the funny guy) and Eric Mangum (the crazy guy, also on guitar and sax), plus occasional keyboard guests. Now if only someone would open a dueling drummers bar ... 201 E. 300 South, 519-8900.


BEST PLACE TO HOOK UP WITH HIM -Readers Choice

Axis

You’re on the elevated walkway when you spot ... him. He’s stylishly attired, because Axis likes its patrons spruced up and doesn’t cater to the T-shirt-and-jeans crowd. He’s grooving to great music, of which the club features plenty in its multiple dance floors. He might not even have to be 21 yet, since the Annex 2000 provides all-ages access. It’s desire at first sight, and you make your move. And you may be female or—on Friday nights in particular—male to make this scenario come true. Live the fantasy. 108 S. 500 West, 519-2947.

2. Port O’ Call

3. Shaggy’s Livin’ Room


BEST NEW CLUB -Readers Choice

The Vortex

Strange, huh? A raging favorite from Salt Lake City’s not so distant past (’80s, ’90s, you know, way back) has returneth to the dance-club scene—so it’s new, and yet old at the same time. Like the original, the new Vortex is a multi-floor club catering to both the 18- and 21-year-old crowd, with more patio and balcony action, thanks to the defunct and vacated Club Splash. And the cages are back, oh yeah. 404 S. West Temple, 363-2623.

2. Egos

3. The Drink


BEST PLACE TO HOOK UP WITH HER -Readers Choice

Mo Diggity’s

Well, readers, you certainly know how to take a category literally. “Her” is pretty much all that you’re likely to find at this lesbian-centric private club that proudly touts itself as a “sports bar for women.” Share a cushion while watching a movie in the non-smoking pillow room, or sidle up to a pool table for a game. Or maybe just bond with that special someone over whatever sports action is on one of the dozen or so TV screens. It’s girl-meets-girl nirvana. Props to the readers for creative interpretation of this category; that’ll learn us to be more specific in the future. 3424 S. State, 832-9000.

2. Port O’ Call

3. Axis


BEST STRIP CLUB -Readers Choice

Trails

The new Crazy Goat enticed plenty of voters to stray, and new sexually orientated business laws keep coming down like pasties in July, but Trails (hold the “Golden,” please) has retained the pole position for another year in the Best of Utah balloting. The casual, blue-collar atmosphere might be the key, or the array of undeniably hot ladies, but we can’t help citing Trails’ increasingly less-kept secret: Killer food, especially the burgers—be glad you’re still allowed to bite into something. 921 S. 300 West, 363-2871.

2. Crazy Goat

3. Southern Xposure


BEST POOL JOINT -Readers Choice

Fats Grill & Pool

For the fifth year in a row, everyone’s favorite Sugar House stick room racks up a win—and for the third time, a “rack” pun is made here about it, right on cue ... and there’s the last one. If we’d actually talked to Fats, he’d probably tell us that the raw details—beer, food, pool tables, a little clean air—are still what make a cool pool experience. 2183 S. Highland Dr., 484-9467.

2. Pool Hall Junkies

3. Brewvies



BEST PROW FROM WHICH TO PERUSE THE PERSEIDS

The Lindsey Gardens in the Avenues

In late August, the best known meteor shower sends glowing streaks of light skittering across the sky. The annual Perseids meteor shower presents what is usually the most watched meteor display of the year. The steep, dark terraces of historic Lindsey Gardens, eerily perched above the Salt Lake City Cemetery, make a great roost from which to watch not only meteor showers, but fireworks displays and twinkling city lights. M Street & 10th Avenue


BEST SHOOTING RANGE/KARAOKE BAR

Dell’s Shootin’ & Singin’ Tavern

Combining the murder of America’s favorite songs with America’s favorite murderous pastime and shaking it up with beer, Dell’s Shootin’ & Singin’ Tavern offers what stand-alone gun ranges and karaoke joints can’t: The final word on whether or not your rendition of “Lady” really did suck. A patron can rent or bring his/her own firearm, sidle up to the bar for Coors (or Coors Light—that’s the extent of the selection), then settle in to watch karaoke contestants give a tune their best shot. If the gun-toters don’t like what they hear, the singer gets plugged. Of course, the karaoke hopefuls are outfitted with Kevlar vests before taking the stage, but one good impact bruise is more effective than 10 Simon Cowells. 8735 W. Hedgehog, 555-1200.


BEST COOL POOL FROM A BAD MOVIE

Pool Hall Junkies

The 2002 movie of the same name went down in flames. It was torture watching the likes of Chazz Palminteri, Rod Steiger and Christopher Walken labor through writer, director and star Gregory “Mars” Martin’s vapid one-liners. But the pool hall, the sole redeeming byproduct of Martin’s massacre, is everything it should be. Still shots from the film line the walls in effigy. Junkies’ eight tables are all next to new. The grill is good for a Cue Ball sandwich or Junkie pizza. And with three beers on tap, a cozy lounge and ESPN constantly broadcasting pro pool on the overhead monitors, you’ll be set to hustle into the wee hours. 165 E. 200 South, 746-3334.


BEST SPORTS CLUB -Readers Choice

Iggy’s

If you’re the poor jerk whose wife won’t stand for a Sunday spent wilting in front of the tube, tell her you’re going out to wash the car and steal away to Iggy’s for six or seven hours. Your debauchery will be rewarded with four satellite dishes at your command, 20 ball games playing at any given moment, an 8-foot super-screen, 20 beers on tap, a full bar and artery-choking grub. And Iggy’s is family friendly, too. There’s no smoking and the menu’s replete with family favorites: chicken balls, Louisiana salad with fresh halibut, and a half-pound Blackjack burger that’ll have the boy jonesin’ for a double shot of Jack Daniels mustard sauce. So even if you’re the type of Ned Flanders who couldn’t bear to ditch Maude, Rod and Todd, chain ‘em up to the bumper, and come on down. Do $2 Tuesday drafts do anything for ya? 677 S. 200 West, 532-9999 (3 other locations).

2. SkyBox

3. Port O’ Call


BEST ST. PADDY’S COUNTDOWN

Piper Down

On paper, “olde world” Irish pub Piper Down spends the entire month of March ramping-up for St. Patrick’s Day. In spirit, the whole year is foreplay for the Green; they even call the patio “the Paddy-O” ... no kiddin.’ That’s some serious Irish commitment. 1492 S. State, 468-1492.


BEST STRAIGHT-UP JAZZ BAND

G. Brown Quintet

Not yet tired of dive-bar cover bands, jukeboxes or third-rate “original” bands? You should be. And you should be treating your ears to the robust riffs and sounds of the G. Brown Quintet. In many ways the quintet’s lineup is similar to the classic Miles Davis team of Wayne Shorter, Herbie Hancock, Tony Williams and Ray Brown: sparse and dry in texture, yet full of color and force. Check ‘em out during their (hopefully) monthly schedule at the Bayou, or wait until they make it up to Snowbird for the occasional gigue.


BEST TRIBUTE BAND

Steel Diamond

Performing at some of the finest mid-level clubs, weddings and private corporate functions along the Wasatch Front, Layton tribute band Steel Diamond combines the best of both musical worlds: Neil Diamond and heavy metal. Rocking up Neil classics like “Kentucky Woman,” “Sweet Caroline,” “America” and the rest with power chords, screaming guitar leads and 20-minute drum solos replete with explosions, fog, lasers and an epic sword battle between frontman Gordie “Neil” Steel and an inflatable dragon during “Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show,” you’ve gotta see it to believe it. www.fudgenet.ut.com/SteelDiamond.


BEST UTE FANS

Lumpy’s Social Club

The guy who used to own this place (you can’t call Al Santi “Lumpy” anymore unless you mean it), started a tradition that the new ownership has admirably matched. That is, if you bleed Utah Red, you’re cool. If you don’t, don’t bother. And if you ever, ever, say anything positive about BYU except that it lies in a flood plain and you can’t wait for the flood, don’t even step foot inside. That’s not entirely true—on any given night one may find any number of BYU alums or former players—sometimes current players—who have seen the brighter, truer light of UTE RED and who have converted in favor of that higher spirit—Jagermeister. Lumpy’s is currently accepting memberships to the Gary Crowton Fan Club. 3000 S. Highland Dr., 484-5597.


THE ACTIVE LIFE

DAY


BEST FINE ARTS MUSEUM

Utah Museum of Fine Arts

Upon reopening in 2001, the UMFA went to work to immediately disparage the other major fine arts museum in the state, BYU’s Museum of Art. The first major exhibit included more than 60 Rodin sculptures, bare breasts and all, several of which BYU wouldn’t exhibit due to severe prudishness. Since that ominous opening, the UMFA has played host to such fine exhibits as Edward Hopper and Urban Realism, Monet to Bonnard, and Aerial Muse: The Art of Yvonne Jacquette. Also, the new digs house a prominent permanent collection of world art. Last but not least, the entire collection is viewable at no cost for the public until May1, when admission will be charged to non-members. 410 Campus Center Dr., University of Utah, 581-7332.


BEST BIKING TRAIL -Readers Choice

Bonneville Shoreline

Lake Bonneville was an Ice Age lake once as large as Lake Michigan. It rose to its highest level about 15,000 years ago. As the climate became warmer, it began to shrink, leaving behind several smaller lakes, including the Great Salt Lake. Why the geography lesson? Simply because the sand and gravel that we all love to walk and ride upon is a gift from Lake Bonneville. People who recognized the gift (and appreciated the view) are volunteering to mark and maintain a 90-mile-long path across the foothills of the Wasatch Range. Open to non-motorized cyclists and pedestrians, the route follows the eastern shoreline of the ancient lake and is, for the most part, user friendly regardless of biking experience. If you’re riding in Salt Lake City, sections of the trail behind and to the north of the U of U are recommended.

2. Jordan River Parkway

3.Wasatch Crest


BEST ALTERNATIVE TRANSPORTATION SYNERGY

TRAX, bike lanes, bike racks outside businesses, bike racks on buses, improved pedestrian access, traffic-calming devices.

Hate to admit it (especially about the annoying traffic-calming devices), but together they seem to be working to make it more appealing to leave the gas guzzlers at home and take a little ride or walk around our fair city.


BEST REFRESHER

Kickin’ it at the Kickstand

Picture this: It’s the peak of summer, and you’ve just endured the worst workweek ever. You have two days to recover your better self, but Saturday greets you (and grates you) with rasping mowers, yapping terriers and hollering homies. Prescription: a trip up Little Cottonwood Canyon, to the end of the paved road and the Kickstand Café. Start with a slaking fresh-squeezed lemonade as you ogle the grandeur of Devil’s Castle. Wander into Albion Basin and check out the progress of the wildflowers. Savor the silence. Order second lemonade. Retreat back down mountain to the fray. Little Cottonwood Canyon.


BEST COLLABORATIVE ART SHOW

Frank McEntire and Alex Caldiero at Art Access Gallery, After the tree had fallen ...

Just two wild and crazy Mormon guys creating a mind-boggling adventure for the rest of us. Caldiero is a performance artist, McEntire does assemblage art and ... maybe you had to be there.


BEST CURE FOR A CLUBBER’S HANGOVER

The O2 Immune Enhancery &

Ultra Lounge

Even the clanging in your ear just might disappear once you get that throbbing head of yours inside this smorgasbord of therapies centered around oxygen, scent, color and therapeutic chairs. The O2 Lounge’s ultra-vivid environment is basically designed to get all your senses working right again, if not cranking on comfortable overtime in ways you’ve never quite experienced before. Inhale the essential oils, take a static ride in an anti-gravity chair, groove on some fresh oxygen. Or just chill to the sight of the fish tanks and nosh on some Kellogg’s breakfast cereal. Whatever rejuvenates ya, this place is bound to have it. 2150 S. Highland Dr., 428-3020.

BEST FOUNTAIN

Seven Canyons

The 30,000-square-foot fountain in the center of Liberty Park is a miniature of the Wasatch Mountain canyons, which ultimately empty into the “Great Salt Lake” represented at the fountain’s base. Each section is built from rock native to the canyon it represents, and tiny obelisks carry mystery symbols. A lamb indicates Lamb’s Canyon; a lock points out the cavernous vaults holding records of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Liberty Park, 700 E. 900 South.


BEST HIKING TRAIL -Readers Choice

Millcreek Canyon

Most newcomers marvel at how our city’s seven canyons act as magical portals to the wilderness. Lush Millcreek Canyon is the one all dogs love, ‘cause they’re actually allowed off leash here (odd-numbered days). It’s the best place to keep cool in the summer, view eye-popping foliage colors in the fall, cross-country ski and snowshoe in the winter and experience the rejuvenation of nature as well as pale, pudgy people in the spring. Challenge yourself to a variety of hiking trails from July 1-Oct. 31, including the popular four-mile hike to Dog Lake. From Nov. 1-June 30, the gate closes off the road just past Log Haven, allowing people to hike, crosscountry ski and snowshoe on easy-grade trails. Don’t forget to pick up after Fido or you may be pummeled by the granola-looking hippies on the trail behind you. Wasatch Blvd. & 3800 South, 278-5260.

2. Dog Lake

3. Mt. Timpanogos


BEST HOT YOGA TREND

Bikram’s Yoga College of India

Where some people exercise to sweat, practitioners of Bikram’s Yoga sweat to exercise. That’s what you get when striking yoga poses in a 100-degree room. Enthusiasts swear by the 26-posture, super-heated routine as a great way to clear the skin and score some great exercise at the same time. Technique founder Yogiraj Bikram Choudhury testifies that it will rearrange your body in all the best ways: lipids and proteins are reorganized, muscles and joints become better aligned, your blood oxygenates, etc. All yoga enthusiasts need know is that yoga in a cold room might soon be a thing of the past. 1140 Willmington Avenue, 488-4681.


BEST IDIOTIC STREET INNOVATION

Back-In Diagonal Parking on
200 South

So, stopping and reversing into oncoming traffic when arriving is a safe, intelligent alternative to just reversing into oncoming traffic when leaving? Brilliant.


BEST OLYMPICS LEGACY VENUE

Soldier’s Hollow

Even though the King of Norway held court here during the Olympics, this is truly the venue of the people. The 31-kilometer trail system is operated by the Utah Athletic Foundation. It offers trails for first-timers, crossover downhill skiers and expert skiers. With two-for-one cross-country ski packages, even “we the people” can afford to play here. Wasatch Mountain State Park near Midway, 435-654-2002.


BEST OPEN-AIR MARCH MADNESS

KUTV 2 Main Street bleachers

Our local CBS affiliate’s move to Main Street initially seemed like a much ado about nothing stunt, but a creative use of the new location gave downtown an extra spark of energy during the NCAA basketball tournament. With the station’s outdoor screen broadcasting CBS’s game coverage, hoops fans were able to sit in temporary bleacher seats near Gallivan Plaza to watch games in the spectacular spring sunshine, including a red-clad throng for March 19’s first round game for the University of Utah. The Utes weren’t able to come away with a win, but the station’s fan-friendly effort hit nothing but net.


BEST PARENTAL MATINEE (FILMED)

Megaplex 17 “MOM Club” and Madstone Theaters “BYOBaby”

Just because you’ve had a baby doesn’t mean you’ve fallen out of love with the movies. It just means that your demanding new family member keeps you from knowing the difference between Mystic River and Mystic Pizza. Leave it to family-friendly Utah to provide not one, but two theaters keen on making moviegoing easier for new parents. Megaplex 17 in Sandy came first with its “Movies on Mondays,” and Trolley Corners’ Madstone Theaters followed with “Bring Your Own Baby,” the latter recently moved to Saturdays. Both offer matinee screenings of current releases in auditoriums with raised house lights, lowered volume and no need to worry about the person behind you hushing your infant. Megaplex 17, 9400 S. State, Sandy, 304-INFO; Madstone Theaters, 500 South & 700 East, 322-3200.

BEST OGDEN RESURRECTION

Wiseguys Comedy Café

The Boy Mayor of Ogden himself, Matthew Godfrey, helped make this one happen, bringing the comedy club back, bigger and better, to O-Town after owner Keith Stubbs shut down the northern Wiseguys to concentrate on his West Valley City branch of the funny business. God (and apparently Godfrey) knows they need something to laugh about in Ogden. 269 Historic 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588.


BEST PARENTAL MATINEE (LIVE)

PTC/Museum of Natural History “Drama & Dinos”

You want to be part of the theater-going hip set, but it gets tricky once you’ve got kids and you’re trying not to feel guilty about dumping them with a babysitter. In an effort simultaneously to satisfy your cultural cravings and assuage your parental guilt, Pioneer Theatre Company and the Utah Museum of Natural History have teamed up to provide a solution. Just drop your 5-to-10-year-olds off at the museum for an educational program at $20 a head, then you can enjoy a 2 p.m. Saturday matinee of a PTC production right next door. And everyone walks away feeling intellectually and/or emotionally enriched. 1400 E. 300 South, 581-6270.


BEST DOG-WALKING -Readers Choice

Tanner Park

Or, as enthusiasts like to call it, “dog heaven.” It’s a place where dog owners meet other dog owners. By extension, that means it’s a place where dogs meet other dogs, and stroll this addendum to Parley’s Historic Nature Park in peace, harmony with nature, and complete canine confidence. It even holds up over the seasons, as not even winter inversions prevent the faithful from coming. Walk on, dogs. Walk on. 2000 East to Parley’s Creek, west along I-80.

2. Millcreek Canyon

3. Liberty Park


BEST TO DROP YOUR QUEEN AND FORK A KNIGHT

Sam Weller’s Zion Bookstore

“It is impossible to win gracefully at chess. No man yet has said ‘mate’ in a voice which failed to sound to his opponent bitter, boastful and malicious.” —A.A. Milne. If you’re of the same mind, if you’ve been bitten by the curse of the thinking classes, Sam Weller’s has your fix. A handful of sidewalk picnic tables, topped with 64-square battlefields, await your mental calisthenics. And always remember, “If you see the good move, select a better one.” —Emmanuel Lasker 254 S. Main, 328-2586.


BEST PLACE TO GET TICKETED FOR EXPIRED TAGS

Anywhere in Salt Lake City

Whether you’re parked in front of your own home, or anywhere else in the downtown area, get licensed up or they’ll get ya. You’ll recognize the city’s parking Gestapo by their flashing yellow lights and inability to empathize. The owner of a ‘93 Subaru Legacy was cited no less than six times over the course of about three months—half of them parked on the street in front of his home. And pay up quick, too, because the late fees mount faster than the U.S. deficit.


BEST PLACE TO READ IN PEACE

The University of Utah’s J. Willard Marriott Library

The library is a veritable fortress of information—not very inviting at first glance. But no place else can patrons duck into a recessed corner, sink into a faux leather chair, and read, snooze or carouse with co-eds. Not like the $80 million airport hangar/amusement park that passes for the new City Library. Nod off there and a much-too-butch security guard will rouse you quicker than quick. And just try losing yourself in a Burt Bacharach autobiography—the all-glass design may be easy on the eyes, but it’s hell on the ears. From anywhere in the place, you’ll catch the echo of every farting toddler and catcalling punk. The Marriott folks got it right. It’s about books. 295 S. 1500 East, 581-8558.


BEST RUNNING TRAIL -Readers Choice

City Creek Canyon

So close to the downtown area you could run there, kind of defeating the purpose of getting your jog on in the beautiful surroundings of City Creek Canyon’s 12-mile roundtrip trail. Paved, shaded, not too steep (at least not until the Lower Rotary) and, according to the bird-watching intelligentsia, one of the best songbird-spotting areas in the state—if you’re into that kind of thing. Memory Grove at 135 E. North Temple, 596-5065.

2. Jordan River Parkway

3. Bonneville Shoreline


BEST PUBLIC ART PROJECT

Giant “Sugar Beets”

Day Christensen of Highland created four larger-than-life-size cast bronze sugar beets, which are scattered throughout the Sugar House business district. The Salt Lake Redevelopment Agency funded the project in homage to a time when the production of beet sugar contributed to Utah’s economy. The sugar beet was named the historic state vegetable in the 2002 Utah legislative session.To the artist, the idea of these giant sugar beets represents a permanent version of Sugar House’s adopted symbol with humor and affection. Look around. They’re hidden in plain view.


BEST PUBLIC GOLF COURSE -Readers Choice

Bonneville

It still boasts a hillside location with some of the valley’s most extraordinary views; it’s still a crazy-good bargain at $25 greens fees for 18 holes. And it’s the same 6,824-yard, par 72 course of challenging greens and mature trees. So it’s easy to understand why our readers picked Bonneville yet again for this, its 75th anniversary year. Playing your round doesn’t even feel like the cliched great walk spoiled when you can enjoy the scenery between hooks, slices and the oh-so-occasional fairway gem. 954 Conner St., 484-3333.

2. Mountain Dell

3. Wasatch Mountain State Park


BEST SKI RUN -Readers Choice

Alta

Guess we’re not talking about the bunny slope here but rather the deep, fluffy powder (500 inches of snow, on average) and rugged terrain prized by experienced locals and grudgingly (well, somewhat) shared with visitors from around the world (who probably are nestling in the 50-year-old Peruvian Lodge — think “Rustic” — and so don’t have to drive down the squiggly canyon road and can therefore drink old brandies at the cozy bar while you can’t, alas).Yes, grudging would be the word. Little Cottonwood Canyon, 359-1078.

2. Snowbird

3. Brighton


BEST PLACE TO SNEAK A LOOK AT NUDE SUNBATHERS

That Little Bit of the Riveria on Main Street

In the good old days before the LDS Church reimposed its anti-nudity regulations on the Main Street Plaza, the sun-drenched expanse was a favorite destination for exponents of clothing-optional al fresco activities. Now that security goons are scouring the bushes to bust bare-breasted lunchers, free body believers have been forced to look for other naturist venues. These days, fun-loving nudists assemble on the south lawn of the City & County Building, welcomed with open arms and free suntan oil rubdowns by Mayor Anderson, who will do anything to revitalize downtown Salt Lake. (An equal opportunity sun block provider, Rocky provides his services regardless of gender or sexual orientation.) Call 555-Rock to reserve your chaise lounge.


BEST PARK CITY SNOWSHOE/BIKE TRAIL PATH

Lost Prospector Loop

Yeah, there are lots of trails and paths on which to tromp your feet or smack down fat tires, but nothing quite beats the feeling of being able to blaze a trail while looking down on Park City’s quaint valley floor. Lost Prospector Loop isn’t the most vigorous path you could take for a snowshoe (when it’s snowing like mad) or a biking excursion (when the sun’s radiating at full blast), but it’s a short trip from the valley floor, which means you’ve got just enough time to zip back into town for some down-to-earth lunch. Head north on Deer Valley Dr., then take a left on Aerie Drive.


BEST SNOWBOARDING RUN -Readers Choice


Brighton

“Most kids go there to ride the park, and the park only,” says one regular Brighton boarder. And who could blame them. A 300-foot-long pipe, and ample tabletops, funboxes, jumps and rails litter the slopes just off the Majestic lift. Further up the mountain, more manmade obstacles beckon poseurs and pros alike. But when the bells and whistles get humdrum—not likely—riders can peel off to Brighton’s un-groomed tree runs. Rogue boarders hike up during the summer to install clandestine obstacles, obscured from the ski patrol by an evergreen fortress. So keep your eyes peeled for the fallen (chopped?) trunks fashioned into rainbow rails. Big Cottonwood Canyon, 532-4731.

2. Snowbird

3. The Canyons


BEST STATIONS OF THE CROSS

Cathedral of the Madeleine

U of U art professor Sam Wilson created these magnificent meditations on Mel Gibson’s favorite subject. Each is a rich piece of art, but symbols like a raven or a rose move you through the whole. Wilson isn’t Catholic, but his work probably fools most Lenten visitors. 331 E. South Temple, 328-8941


BEST TUBING/SLEDDING -Readers Choice

Sugar House Park

This is a perfectly splendid place to break your neck and you don’t have to take a train to get there. 1602 E. 2100 South.

2. Soldier Hollow

3. Gorgoza Park


BEST SPORTS MASSAGE

Steve Kauffman, Streamline
Body Works

A crucial part of tracking down a good sports massage therapist is finding someone who uses his or her body the way you do. They understand what is tweaked, because they’ve probably done the same thing to themselves—so they know when to use a light touch, and when to put an elbow in a pressure point. Steve Kauffman at Streamline Body Works is the athletes’ secret weapon. An avid runner, climber and skier, Kauffman treats the same. He can help sort out the kinks and strains when chiropractors and ibuprofen don’t cut it—or just deliver a damned relaxing massage. 1948 S. 1100 East, 474-1156.


BEST WEEKEND ESCAPE -Readers Choice

Moab

When the miasma of the Wasatch Front’s commute and smog get you down, there’s nothing like the soothing warmth of redrock. Moab’s information site compiles more than 130 Bible verses to justify the burg’s reputation as a place “just short of the Promised Land” but that needn’t concern you one bit. It’s the embarrassment of riches between Arches National Park, Canyonlands, Morning Glory Arch and Anasazi Cliff dwellings that keep the urban restless coming back. Just pack your bike, pick the right time during off-season, and kiss your old routine goodbye—if only for a weekend.

2. Park City

3. Wendover


BEST, UNEXPECTED PLACE TO TAKE OUT-OF-TOWNERS

Salt Lake City Library

Don’t stew over where to take family and friends when they visit. Shoppers gravitate toward the Gateway. Naturalists are always directed to Red Butte Garden. But what about the in-betweeners? Lo, in a city that prides itself on Temple Square, a new godsend of architecture has become a destination in its own right: The City Library. As non-residents quickly learn, it is not just about books: ascending six levels through an atrium to a rooftop garden is an experience most people just don’t expect when you ask them if they want to go to the library. If there is a cultural counterpoint to the mountains we live beneath, it is the openness and spatial relief of the city’s brand-new bibliotheca. 210 E. 400 South, 524-8200.


BEST PLACE FOR AN ILLICIT NOONER -Readers Choice

Most predictable voters’ answer: “Temple Square.” Better answers: “Provo-it just irritates the locals,” “City Weekly parking lot” (we have one?), “Orrin Hatch’s lawn,” “Burt’s Tiki Lounge bathroom” (yuck), “Legacy screenings,” “My mom’s place” (oh, sweet), and the popular “Anywhere!” With no clear-cut winner in this category, however, it looks like you’re on your own, nooners.


THE CONSUMER LIFE


BEST ARTSY OFFICE SUPPLIES

Thin Air Design

Lots of items in this store scream “modern!” with capital M’s. But it’s the office supplies—or, should we say accoutrements—that really score points with the Bauhaus art crowd or that special architecture student in your life. Picture a brushed metal tape dispenser roughly the size of a walnut, or a paper-clip holder or pen that could easily be mistaken for a surgical instrument of some kind. Buy something here, put it on your desk at work, and just wait for colleagues to ask you where you got it. 926 E. 900 South,
533-0234.


BEST SECOND-AMENDMENT ENTREES

Totally Astounding Gun Range & Grill

The motto says it all: “You kill it, we grill it.” The Fort Union combo restaurant, petting zoo and gun range has proven to be a hit with the whole family—mom gets out of cooking, and the kids have fun playing with chickens, pigs, cows and other cute, meaty animals before dad blows ’em to tasty smithereens in the range pen with his pistol, rifle or machine gun (bring your own or rent). Then, the Totally Astounding Gun Range & Grill crew prepares and serves the fresh kill to your table. 7225 S. Gristle, 555-6224.


BEST NON-SMOKING, SEXY TOBACCONIST

Jacque Wayment of Jeanie’s
Smoke Shop

While specialty tobacco shops in Salt Lake City are hen’s tooth rare, they’re still the place where, as they say, “the street meets the elite.” That is to say, the only place where someone down on their luck can get a pack of generic smokes next to the big-shot attorney looking for a bit of Danish cherry pipe tobacco. Wayment might well be the most knowledgeable tobacconist never to draw a puff. Whether mixing tobaccos with ease, deftly locating a cigar in the store’s giant climate-controlled humidor, or cracking a joke with radio music in the background, she’s got the ratio of customer service to flare down flat. Purchasing carcinogens has never been such a delight. 156 S. State,
322-2817.


BEST FUR JOCK STRAP

Alaska Fur Gallery

Perhaps the only thing that might distract a rabid animal-rights activist from firebombing this store is its most crotchety item, proudly displayed in the front window. Like any fur shop worth its name, Park City’s Alaska Fur Gallery has more than its share of coats, hats and fox-pawed key chains. But items like this prove that, when it comes to clothing, utility is inversely proportional to novelty. You don’t wear this so much as flaunt it. 7th & Main Street, Park City,
435-649-3820.


BEST ALTERNATIVE SHOE SOURCE

Haight

Haight, as in Haight Ashbury, is owned by Paul and Noelle Weinberger, and is definitely not a boutique you’re going to run into anywhere else in Utah. Yes, you might be able to find something leather somewhere in the store, but most of the shoes, boots and accessories are handmade with their growing vegan customer base in mind. They get two to eight new—and we do mean new—designs in every week from all over the world, but especially San Francisco. In his other life, Paul is an actor with Quick Wits Improv, and Noelle is a manicurist who’s been in retail since she was 15. They’ve both done a lot of shopping outside of Utah. People would stop Noelle on the street to ask her where she got something. Now she can tell them to go to Haight, which has been open a mere three months. 2126 S. Highland Dr., 487-7771.


BEST “WE LOVE OUR CUSTOMERS” STREET CORNER PROMOTION

Qwest Valentine’s Day roses

The cynical reaction would be that, faced with competition for residential local service, Qwest was just trying to suck up to downtowners. Nevertheless, there were smiling, chipper individuals standing on sidewalks and train platforms on Feb. 12, handing out free red roses just to say thank you for being Qwest customers. Sure, they were also pitching a promotional chance to win a dozen roses for filling out a questionnaire, but at least they made it easy for a lot more guys to avoid sleeping on the couch.

BEST TAILOR IN A HURRY

Charles Wong of United Tailors

Cuff too tight, pants too long, button missing or chest too wide? The atmosphere at United Tailors might look a little ramshackle compared to the fitting room at higher-end department stores, but don’t let that fool you one bit. Wong knows the craft from top to bottom, and has an instinctive feel for what you’re after when it comes to cloth and stitching. Or, as he’s fond of saying himself, “Whatever you want me to do, I do.” And he’s been doing it in Salt Lake City since 10:30 a.m., Oct. 13, 1972. How’s that for an exacting tailor? 161 E. 200 South, 364-1888.


BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK STRIP MALL

Town & Country Shopping Center

It’s the same mentality as those of us (you know who you are) who end up pushing our cars into the gas station, because we just had to know how far below E we could go. Sometimes you just have to find out how far you can push something, or stretch it, for that matter. Welcome to the world of bargain shopping, friends. And there is no better place to see how far your money will go than the shopping center on 1300 East and 3300 South. You can visit a Family Dollar, Dollar Tree, Thrift Town and Big Lots, all in the same happy place. You don’t even have to worry about wasting gas driving around. It’s a beautiful thing. Corner of 1300 East and 3300 South.


BEST BEARD ON A RARE BOOK PEDDLER

Ken Sanders’ from Ken Sanders Rare Books

Really, don’t get us wrong, Ken Sanders himself is a worthy “Best of Utah” candidate. Not only does he run a full-service antiquarian bookshop that encompasses most literary fields, yet focuses heavily on all things West, Western, Utah and Mormon, he also runs an in-house publishing company, Dream Garden Press. Equally important, the storefront also acts as meeting place for all things artistic and literary—having hosted such luminaries as Rick Bass, Charles Bowden and the Bushwacked antics of Gino Sky and Ray Obermayr, not to mention the artwork of Leia Bell and the photography of Scott Carrier. But most important is the venerable beard, facial hair that may in fact have been passed down through the generations, providing the all-important solid foundation to all things Ken Sanders. 268 S. 200 East, 521-3819.


BEST CAR GUYS

Burt Brothers Tire & Service

Let’s face it, for most of us the extent of our automotive savvy begins and ends with gassing up the Hyundai and adding washer fluid twice a year. That’s why we need the Brothers Burt. At Burt Bros. tire and auto centers a rare commodity is on special daily: honesty. The guys at Burt Bros. won’t sell you tires you don’t need, a transmission you can’t afford, or turn a $20 oil change into a bankrupting trip to the cleaners. Oh, and they’ve got the best customer waiting rooms to boot: free coffee, juice, and City Weekly. 9325 S. 1300 East, 572-1970; 1271 N. Highway 89, Farmington, 801-451-4590; 2885 S. Highway 89, Bountiful, 801-299-1142; 2734 W. Rasmusen Rd., Park City,
435-649-1142.


BEST COFFEE MUGS

No Worries Café

Who’d have thought you’d need to stop off in Summit Park to find Utah’s most attractive coffee mugs? They’re made by Summit Park potter Bruce Larrabee and those handmade mugs are just one of the attractions at No Worries Café, Chef Dante Eggan’s high-altitude eatery. Breakfast and lunch draw an eclectic crowd to No Worries for popular dishes like the Hack Attack, Dante’s Inferno, and what might just be the best cheeseburger in Summit County. Why, you can even sip a glass of wine or beer with your biscuits and gravy if the spirits move you. But be sure to finish up with a cup of coffee, served in those marvelous mugs. 185 Aspen Dr., Summit Park 435-658-5007.


BEST COMMUNITY MARKET ATTACHED TO A FINE RESTAURANT, OR VICE VERSA

Center Street Market next to Em’s, or vice versa

So what if they can’t duplicate a key, Center Street Market is still the cute-as-a-button store for all the small shopping delights you can’t get at places the size of an airline hanger. Take your pick from grocery essentials like fresh bread, mixed greens, milk, juice, sausages, penny candy or sandwiches then ... head on into Em’s just next door for a playful contrast. This restaurant is a shining case study in affordable upscale food on the grandest of small scales. Service is good enough, too, that you won’t be at all prompted to head next door to the market for an aspirin. 271 N. Center St., 596-0566.


BEST COMPUTER CUSTOMER SERVICE

Totally Awesome Computers

Sure, Super Dell Schanze is totally insane—wait, there’s more. Those savvy enough to look past the gonzo image and buy a Totally Awesome Computer begrudgingly agree: His PCs rock. Sometimes, however, due to viruses and other nasty outside forces, a TAC’s rocking can be curtailed—that’s where Schanze’s totally insane customer-service policy comes in: It breaks, they fix it, no hassle, no charge. Even if there’s an outside-the-warranty problem they could charge you for, they’ll usually just send you on your way with your wallet intact. Crazy is subjective; good service isn’t. Nine locations, www.TotallyAwesomeComputers.com.


BEST CONJOINED BUSINESSES

Sugarhouse Coffee and
Orion’s Music

Like 9th and 9th, 2100 South and Highland Drive is just one intersection in Salt Lake that has always begged for a coffee shop—and Starbucks doesn’t count. The other thing the neighborhood has always needed—to go along with its sex shop and gift emporium (Blue Boutique) and its local thrift stores (Pib’s X-change, etc.) is a good all-around music store. What the Sugarhousians didn’t bargain for is that the two—Sugarhouse Coffee and Orion’s Music—would not only bring the stature of the intersection up into that of 9th & 9th, but that they would sport conjoined storefronts with all sorts of side bennies. First, on most Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays the space that exists between the two businesses hosts local bands of all varieties. Second is “Brews and Tunes.” While enjoying your choice of hot beverage in the comfy confines of the coffee shop, Orion’s will allow you to check out and listen to any album in the store—they’ll even provide you with a player. Sugarhouse Coffee: 2106 S. 1100 East, 466-7007; Orion’s Music: 2110 S. 1100 East, 531-8181.


BEST CORNER STORE

Merit Market

For the c-c-coldest beer in town, owner and operator Jason Oh has the competition whipped. Oh’s beer is so chill that one resident of a nearby health-care facility stops in regularly, briefcase in tow, to smuggle the supple suds back up to his room. Located two blocks west of University of Utah’s President’s Circle, the market caters to a wide array of snack hounds. Poor college students would likely pack it in but for Merit’s stockpile of cup-o-soup. To boot, Merit is one of few pay stations in the valley where utility customers can drop off checks for Utah Power, Questar and AT& . 1035 E. 200 South, 363-9349.


BEST CORPORATE CITIZEN

XMission

Pete Ashdown launched Utah’s first Internet service provider on a wing and a prayer in 1993—when most of us still thought http was something you catch in prison. The undaunted Ashdown has grown XMission into the state’s largest independent ISP, and he’s done it keeping in mind those that got him there. Aside from granting free Internet service to nonprofit organizations—no matter their political leanings—Ashdown is active in reinvigorating downtown Salt Lake City while preserving its heritage. And he’s presently taking on bandwidth behemoths Qwest and Comcast, two ISP mini-monopolies bent on sinking UTOPIA, the statewide municipal project that would extend lightning-fast Internet service to underserved areas and potentially make Utah a techno-utopia for businesses. 51 E. 400 South, 539-0852, www.XMission.com.


BEST COUNTERINTUITIVE BITE TO THE WALLET

Water rate increases due to
conservation

Hooray for us—we actually heeded the calls by state officials to drastically reduce water consumption in the face of a 5-year drought. So what do we get for our efforts? Local water districts pleading poverty because decreased consumption hit their budgets hard. And just like that, water rates are going up because we did what we were asked to do. Water providers argue it’s a matter of paying more now vs. paying even more later for increased infrastructure, but it’s gotta sting a little knowing that slowing the flow of water means increasing the flow of money from your bank account.


BEST DJ SUPPLIES

Guitar Center

So what if it’s a major national chain, the selection of turntables (Technics 1200s, natch), needles, speakers and mixers on display really can’t be beat. No reason to despair, really, you can always get your vinyl from a local, homegrown source. Meanwhile, peruse Guitar Center for just the right setup. Just don’t get caught buying a CD player mixer, which is clearly for punks and poseurs. And while learning the wheels of steel is probably best done by trial and error at your friend’s house party, you can also pick up an instructional video and be mixing in no time. 5728 S. Redwood Rd. 969-9887.


BEST DRIVE-THROUGH DONATIONS

The Road Home

In a city where you sometimes have to drive 15 miles just to recycle glass, it’s not always easy to be the kind of concerned citizen you want to be. Props to The Road Home shelter for making your act of social justice as simple as ordering a Big Mac. Just drive up to the gate and honk the horn, and you’ll be able to cruise in to the drop-off location for your food and/or gently used household goods. Once you’re inside, helpful staff members will unload everything from your trunk. Everyone’s a winner, and you can be on your way without your driver’s seat ever having to get cold. 210 S. Rio Grande,
359-4142.


BEST DAY CARE FOR YOUR WOLF BABY

Tots With Teeth

In these hurry-hurry times, being a new working parent is difficult enough. But what do you do if your bundle of joy is born with back hair, fangs and a propensity for howling at the moon? Say goodbye to Montessori. But thankfully, Draper entrepreneur Larry Talbot knows the pain, and launched his business to help out parents-of-freaks on the go. His committed early childhood/animal husbandry-trained staff will look after hard-to-handle little ones with love, personalized attention and even the occasional lamb or kid goat for afternoon pack-hunt entertainment. Call now; there is a waiting list. 666 E. Lupine Lane,
555-GRRR.


BEST DVD/VHS EDITING

FilthyFlicks

Ever wonder where all of the naughty bits edited out of movies by Utah cleanup DVD/VHS editing services end up? For the past few years, they’ve been collected by Salt Lake City entrepeneur Richard Edwards, who founded FilthyFlicks last summer. His service splices the sex, nudity and general “smut” chopped out by those other guys into reasonably-priced compilation discs and tapes—just the good stuff, no plotlines or other filler breaking up the action. The best idea since the fast-forward button. 4566 S. Shadrack Ave., 555-8825, www.FilthyFlicks.biz.


BEST WATER-WISE GARDENING

Jordan Valley Water

Conservancy Gardens

These gardens offer an abundance of possibilities for your own yard on its 2.5 acres. One side has a vegetable garden and a variety of grasses. The other contains six different theme gardens with varying water needs; also, the Rich and Jodi Ludlow home: The Jordan Valley Water Conservancy District transformed this yard as part of its program to promote water awareness. Why not drive by? 8768 S. 1185 East, Sandy; 8215 S. 1300 West, West Jordan, 565-4300.


BEST GOAT ON A ROPE

Energizing Escentials

Edging out Drake’s Family Farm for best goat’s milk soap in Utah is Energizing Escentials. The company’s best-selling blend, Rise & Shine, hints savory notes of apple, grapefruit, peach, strawberry and a touch of Loganberry. Use it to cheer up. Other odoriferous selections include Bay Rum (smells like your grandma), Plumeria (the tropical scent makes you want to jump a plane and go island hopping), and Hawaiian Pikaki (invokes peace and Serenity Now!). The natural moisturizers and rejuvenators are a must for the skin conscious. 9282 S. Chartres Ave., 304-3628.


BEST HINDU GREETING CARDS

Mystic Dragon

Hallmark is so boring, and even those artsy blank cards can’t bring you to fill up the white space. Spring instead for Hindu god Ganesha, who will “remove all obstacles and ensure success.” Or, barring that, you’ll surely get the recipient’s attention. 2132 S. Highland Dr., 483-2700.


BEST GUITAR GEEKS

Guitar Czar

If you’ve become frustrated shopping at musical instrument megastores where the sales people don’t know tubes from transistors or humbuckers from buckskin, you need to visit the boys at Guitar Czar. If there’s anything that Eric, Doug, and Gary don’t know about guitars and amplifiers, we’ve yet to find it. Of course, when you’re selling high-performance quality gear from companies like Victoria Amp Co., Bruno (one of only two Bruno dealers in the USA.), G& , Mesa Boogie, Fender Custom Shop, Anderson Guitars, and Orange, you’d better know what the hell you’re talking about. And at Guitar Czar, they do. So if you want to hear teenagers practicing their Limp Bizkit riffs at ear-popping volume, go to the Guitar Center. But if you want to shop where the players shop, head over to Guitar Czar. 953 E. 3300 South, 466-8666.


BEST ALTERNATIVE
MEDICINE FOR PETS

Doggie Acupuncture at Mountain View Animal Hospital

Eastern medicine—it’s not just for humans anymore. With more people exploring non-traditional methods of medical treatment, it was only a matter of time before veterinarians got in on the act. At Mountain View Animal Hospital in Sandy, Dr. Kanda Hazelwood employs herbs and acupuncture to augment her Western treatments, offering dogs and cats pointed therapy for a variety of ills—post-disc surgery, immune problems, even viral diseases. “The first time I had success with it, I was so excited,” Dr. Hazelwood admitted. “I was surprised to find that it worked.” Thanks to that success, even Fido is discovering that a poke can help where a pill won’t. 9414 S. 1335 East, 523-1176.



BEST HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE

The Boom Boom Room

Visitors who fancy a raunchier taste of our fair city can jaunt into the Boom Boom Room, a gentleman’s club located in the basement of state Sen. Evan James’ west-side home. So as not to get the man coming down on my man’s age-old enterprise, just drop by one of James’ payday loan outlets and ask for the “dirty bird special,” they’ll tell you where to go. And if you’re low on cabbage, no worries, they’ll front you some green, too. But be forewarned, James’ interest rates are at least as lewd as his lovelies.
1312 W. Dolemite Ave., 555-5309.


BEST HOUSECLEANING TEAM

Yenory Management

If your living room is a disaster area and the bathroom resembles one you might find at a Tijuana Texaco station, these folks will bail you out. They even clean for grown-up and responsible people! Originally from Costa Rica, Yenory Cruz is a new U.S. citizen and very proud to be. Partner Luis Arana, from Peru, lends muscle to the operation. Estimates are free. 977-3989.


BEST ITEMS FOR SHEEP-SKATES

Alpha World of Sheepskins

You think you have enough stuff made out of sheepskin? Baaaaaa, we say. Maybe you have the sheepskin steering wheel and/or driver’s seat cover. Perhaps you already own a fleecy winter coat or ear-flap hat. But does the special infant in your life possess sheepskin baby booties or slippers? I thought not. And if you are lacking all of these comforts, Alpha World of Sheepskins is one place to find it all. Whether buying for yourself or purchasing a cozy-making gift, the wool is your oyster. 6256 S. State, 261-8333.


BEST LAUNDROMAT

Stonewash

Centrally located, Salt Lake City’s only one-stop wash and watering hole has become something of a hole itself. Granted, anytime you can get a beer on tap without dropping five bucks for the honor, it’s a good thing. And it’s downright radical being able to watch The Sopranos while sorting your soiled wares. Stonewash is still the best thing going where beer and laundry are concerned. 247 S. 1300 East, 521-2534.


BEST CORNER MARKET

Emigration Market

JT Martin took over the neighborhood store in the ’90s and remodeled it—inside and out. Emigration has since become a gourmet’s delight while still maintaining that intimate touch. JT has added organic meat to his fare since the Mad Cow scare, and draws heavily from local culinary talent like Kerry Florez, who makes their to-die-for New York-style cheesecakes. 1706 E. 1300 South, 581-0138.


BEST LOCAL BOOKSTORE MAKEOVER

Sam Weller’s Zion Bookstore

Even as the battle between chains and indy booksellers rages, it’s comforting to know that Sam Weller’s on Main Street is not going quietly into that good night. This remake started at the end of the holiday season, and hasn’t quite stopped yet, as used books are mixed with the new (helps shoppers spot the bargain), service counters have been updated like a new kitchen (those shop clerks look sooo courteous and helpful) and browsing tables have been strategically placed near a new magazine rack (lingering is a basic human right, especially in bookstores). Even the most stalwart of traditional institutions must evolve, and this one’s looked especially sharp in the process. Here’s hoping the chains cower in submission. 254 S. Main,
328-2586.


BEST NATIVE PLANTS

Blue Sky Perennials

Owned by Susie Kohler and Katy Nicholich—and they don’t even have a nursery! Oh, they have a place to grow plants, but no retail outlet, unless you consider the Farmer’s Market at Pioneer Park an outlet. They also sell during the season at Emigration Market, 1706 E. 1300 South. Nicholich has run a professional garden-maintenance business for years, but has always dreamed of a day lily farm. Kohler says she’s always been passionate about ornamental grasses. It was their frustration at not finding these plants, and the lack of drought-tolerant varieties, that prompted them to start their business together in the fall of 2001. To find them, go to their Website: www.blueskyperennials.com.


BEST MANHANDLING OF THE CLOTH

Temple garment misuse

What is it about LDS temple garments that inspires such strange news stories? In October, a protesting street preacher at the LDS general conference spat and stepped on LDS temple garments, inciting observers to a wrestling match to take the garments away. In February, temple garments were listed on the auction Website eBay, causing an uproar that led the listing to be pulled, then reinstated, then pulled again. When are people going to learn: Don’t mess with sacred dress.


BEST MODEST APPAREL

KneeShorts

“[As] morality dies, Hollywood loots our pockets, eagerly joined by its allies—the advertising and fashion industries.” So states the Website for this Sandy-based clothing company, which serves customers on its side of the culture wars by addressing the fashion side of the equation. Those who prefer their active wear less revealing—and constricting—should be keen on KneeShorts’ attire for the exposed-skin-conscious consumer. Your patellas will never again know the light of day, and we can all feel more comfortable about sending our sons and daughters out on a summer afternoon. 10665 S. State, Sandy, 523-3669; 206 E. University Pkwy, Orem, 801-224-6110.


BEST LOCAL ROCK COMPILATION

SLUG’s Death By Salt

Three elaborately packaged CDs, 59 local bands, unchartible hipster cred. And you thought the only thing SLUG magazine ever gave you was black fingers. www.slugmag.com.


BEST ROSES

Western Gardens

Come this time of year, it seems every store imaginable has a few rows of wilted petunias out in front. But if your commitment to cultivation extends beyond a few plastic pots, well, what can we say? You should probably go to Western Gardens. A local nursery, around since 1949, Western Gardens currently has three locations, all with annuals, perennials, trees, and “heaps of roses.” And if you measure how green your thumb is this year by how many days it takes your plants to die, they also offer free gardening advice (full time, beginning in April). 550 S. 600 East, 364-7871; 4050 W. 4100 South, 968-4711; 9201 S. 1300 East, 571-9241.


BEST PET STORE

Furburbia

Located in high-traffic shopping malls, these temporary quarters for animals in need of a home look like “real” pet stores. Less depressing than walking your kids through the pound and vastly more comfy than life behind bars for the pets in question, these approachable pet adoption centers are bringing big results: 19 percent decrease in euthanasia; 56 percent increase in adoptions; 30,000 spay/neuter certificates redeemed. Tanger Outlet Center, 6699 N. Landmark Drive, Park City, 435-615-6805; Cottonwood Mall, 4835 S. Highland Dr., 424-2744, www.utahpets.org.


BEST PLACE TO SPOT POLYGAMISTS

Bulk discount stores on a Saturday

Women with cameo brooches, grandma’s hair and dresses straight out of the late 19th century don’t look out of place shopping huge aisles of mass-packed bathroom supplies. Perfectly disciplined children with perfectly scrubbed hair and overalls don’t look out of place in the cold cereal aisle. But where are the patriarchs?


BEST PHARMACY FOR YOU AND YOUR PET

University Pharmacy

One of a very few compounding pharmacies still operating anywhere, these folks specialize in bioidentical hormones for women and men, as well as in making veterinary medicines palatable for animals. Richard crushes nasty pills and mixes them into “triple fish” that cats will sometimes eat. When they won’t, you can just squirt it down their throats with a handy syringe that Richard provides —just in case. There’s even a drive-thru window that opened in 1954. Ever on the cutting edge, it was one of the first in the country. 1320 E. 200 South, 582-7624.


BEST PLACE FOR A USED TENT

The Tent Store

Getting into the outdoorsy life can be intimidating enough; add the start-up costs, and it can be enough to keep you on the couch. The Tent Store kills both birds with a wide selection of previously used tents for those just launching their camping experience, helping keep the financial burden manageable. And the inveterate urbanite will delight at the opportunity to try out your new purchase and get a personal demonstration in how to set it up. The great outdoors just got a little greater. 4142 S. Main, Murray, 261-4744.


BEST SCHOOL BADGE OF COOL

The Heavy Metal Shop Hoodie

If all of the junior high and high school kids skulking around suburban Utah campuses in black hoodie sweatshirts festooned with the classic Heavy Metal Shop half-skull had ever actually patronized or even set foot in Kevin Kirk’s long-running independent hard-music store, the man could have retired years ago. 63 Exchange Place, 467-7071, www.HeavyMetalShop.com.


BEST POTTY-MOUTH STERILIZER

CleanLips

Editing for content—it’s not just for the media anymore. American Fork neurologist/entrepreneur Erasmus Lerner knew from his own difficulty avoiding swearing that other people could use help; he knew from the success of CleanFlicks that there was a market for sanitizing technologies. It was only a short step to the development of an electronic device placed at the base of the skull that detects the imminent emergence of profanity and replaces it with a high-pitched bleep. Lerner would not credit the human V-chip from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut for his idea: “I’ve never seen that [bleep]ing movie.” www.CleanLips.com


BEST PRIMROSE PATH TO BE LED DOWN

Traces

Traces is a shop filled with flowers, herbs, gifts and garden accessories. But if you only go to the shop, you’ll miss the most amazing shady, secluded 1-acre garden in the city. The garden starts out with a series of small lawns trimmed by flowering bushes, hedges and lawn furniture. You pass over bridges and through grapevine-covered arbors into rows of organic herbs, flowers and vegetables. You may be greeted by a baker’s dozen of lazy, happy cats who may be growing their own herb (catnip), which accounts for their good humor. So, go ahead and stop at the shop to buy heirloom seeds, fresh-cut flowers and fresh-picked herbs if you must—but if you miss the garden, it’s just sick and wrong. 1432 S. 1100 East, 467-9544.


BEST SHOPPING VILLAGE

Ivy Place at 9th and Van Winkle

Here’s just one more reason to live in Murray, as if there weren’t enough. Besides having a good city government, Democrats representing most of the city in the state legislature, a fine city park, great schools and lots of ducks and geese, Murray is home to the area’s best shopping village. Ivy Place isn’t elegant. Ivy Place isn’t hoity-toity—it’s simply a convenient, simple place to spend your quality dollars. Diners meet at Anna’s Café, La Macarena Mexican Food, or at Karoo Deli. The Leprechaun Inn is one of the best in town, bar none. Between the eats and drinks are housed some of Utah’s best specialty shops and services: Spoons & Spice (awesome cookery!), Dafodil Miniatures, A Touch of Norway, Scruples, Frameplace, Susan’s Dolls and a host of others. 900 East and 4700 South,
484-6157.


BEST EXOTIC CHOCOLATES

Liberty Heights Fresh

Is there life beyond Hershey’s? Boy, is there ever. In case you haven’t heard, the fine art of chocolate has become a veritable aesthete’s pastime, with more combinations and beans than you can shake a stick at. This organic institution has all you need for your specialized cocoa arsenal: domestic Scharfen Berger; Italy’s Cuba Venchi blended with licorice, vanilla or chili pepper; Doflin of France blended with Earl Grey tea; or how about the rustic packaging and dense, walloping flavor of Spain’s Blanxart. It’s not an upscale chocolate, by the way, unless it’s made from cocao beans grown on a single estate. Just decide how upscale you want to go. 1242 S. 1100 East, 467-2434.


BEST VETERINARIAN

Kay Brown, Hillside
Veterinary Hospital

Everyone has a great vet, but if you’re looking, Dr. Brown actually gets down on her hands and knees to greet new patients. They love being acknowledged on their own terms and seem to be fearless — as long as she’s in the room, anyway. 2364 E. Ft. Union Blvd., 943-2154.


BEST ETHNIC TREASURES

Ten Thousand Villages

If you have a shopping addiction, then at least spend your dough at a store that provides income to Third World people by selling their handicrafts. Use your compulsion to acquire really cool, ethnic treasures that tell stories of the Third World while helping artisans in far-off lands afford the bare minimum of food, education and health care. Only in this store can your shopping addiction be considered a healthy thing. And the people who work here are so very nice—you’d think they were volunteers for a good cause, and guess what? Many are. 2186 S. 1100 East,
485-8827.


BEST AVENUES DECADENCE

Hatch Family Chocolates

This one-year-old establishment in the former location of a laundromat isn’t quite a chocolate shop, although it serves wonderful hand-dipped chocolates. Nor is it a coffee shop, although it serves chic Rimini Italian roast. It isn’t an ice cream bar, either, even if you can get a sundae drenched in caramel sauce made from the Hatch family recipe. Instead, think of this one-stop shopping for dessert in the Avenues as the perfect blend of chocolates, ice cream and coffee after a long, leisurely walk in one of the city’s quaintest districts. After meeting friendly proprietors Steve Hatch and Kate Masterson, you’ll be taking lots of those walks. 390 E. Fourth Ave., 532-4912.


BEST STRIP MALL FLEA MARKET

Salt Lake International Market

Long relegated to vacant lots and drive-ins, flea markets often make suburbanites uncomfortable because they feel so ... vagabondish. But now you can hunt for obscure bargains and still stash your SUV in a diagonal parking space. Taking up residence in a former big box hardware store, this newly opened stall-mart location mixes flea market fixtures like Spanish-language CDs and auto parts with Vietnamese clothing and Central American art under one permanent roof. There’s even a peaceful rest area with a bubbling fountain. It’s funky flavor with the mellow smoothness of cookie-cutter retail. 5585 S. Redwood Rd.


BEST SUIT SHOPPING

C.T. Brock & Co.

Back before we starting buying business and fancy affair clothing at Sears and SuperTarget, there were men’s specialty clothing stores with stellar customer service and enticements like on-premise tailors and knowledgeable salespeople. That type of timeless, high-quality shopping experience can still be had at C.T. Brock & Co., where purchasing a $1,300 Canali suit can actually be an enjoyable and satisfying event. Best of all, with the help from the guys at C.T. Brock & Co., you’ll look MARVELOUS! 1354 S. Foothill Drive, 581-0600.


BEST ONE-STOP EXTREME MAKEOVER

Kathy’s Electrolysis/Salon Ambience/ Tinna Strong

These women can turn the Bride of Frankenstein into Britney Spears in an afternoon, assuming that’s what the bride desires. Frankenstein, too, will be more appealing after Tinna waves her magic wand and Kathy pulls some back hair (ouch!). Plus Tinna’s an addiction counselor, so you can take care of multiple problems simultaneously. What a deal. 1061 E. 3300 South 755-4483; Tinna Strong, 463-1950.


BEST VARIATION ON MORMON JEWELRY

Choose the Left Ring

The joke about the omnipresent CTR ring has been around forever. “Choose the Right” has always been a slyly hidden hint to simply “Choose the Republican,” has it not? Or is it a slyly hidden message in bias of the right-handed? The only logical progression was this mock version, which is reportedly preferred by southpaw Jack Mormons everywhere. www.ChoseTheLeft.com


BEST WALKING STICKS

Tinder Box

As dark a day as it was for gentlemanly style when hats went out of fashion, it was equally tragic to see walking sticks go the way of the dinosaur. If either necessity or a sense of retro cool inspires you to tread with an extra something in your hand, Tinder Box provides the most intriguing selection. They’ve got you covered whether your taste runs to carved-ivory handles or an alma mater golf ball topper (BYU or Utah available). And nothing says sophisticated elegance like a walking stick made from the reproductive organ of a bull. Fashion Place Mall, 268-1321.


BEST WAY TO COOK UP A PASSION

Roth Concept Center

If these “demo” kitchens were body builders, they’d be Mr. and Mrs. Universe, all pumped up, tanned golden brown and slathered in baby oil. If you ever wanted to fantasize what your kitchen could look like if Keith Barton comes through for you on the Fen-Phen settlement, then check out this shrine to the culinary arts. The high-end appliances and cabinets you see aren’t actually sold here—they’re just on display for companies like R.C. Willey in hopes you’ll work up an appetite for a kitchen makeover. There’s even a professional kitchen where local chefs such as Adalberto Diaz share their secrets in a variety of cooking classes. Channel 2’s Fresh From the Kitchen is taped here weekdays at noon. 1400 S. Foothill Dr., Foothill Village,
582-5552.


BEST WATER BAR

The H2O Connection

Spouting from all things oxygen, the hippest craze to hit all the latest and greatest metropolitan hotspots is now here in Salt Lake City. Having opened its doors just weeks ago, The H2O Connection is already a popular hotspot with middle-age single men and barely legal teens looking for that next hip thang. Featuring an upscale Vegas Lounge environment, H2O boasts over 50 different labels—Shangri La Springs, Stilled For You, Trump Ice, etc.—all guaranteed the purest of the pure in the worldwide water market. Due to some locals reporting a sense of odd euphoria after consuming just several ounces of the powerful waters served at H2O’s, the Legislature is already debating bills to confuse all would-be consumers. So, rush down to The H2O Connection and experience the rush before it becomes illegal. 947 N. Bonneville Rd. at the base of City Creek Canyon. 555-1-WATER.


Best Optician

John Cottam, The Spectacle

Nearing 40 years in the business, John Cottam has seen plenty of changes in his craft. Technically, forget it ... we’re light years from marching 20 paces backwards and covering one eye. Today’s eye measurements are far more precise, and that’s all the better for a special artisan like Cottam. For Cottam plies his trade in his Trolley Square shop, The Spectacle, a store that literally resounds of class, quality and craftsmanship. Lines of frames sold here include Gucci, Ralph Lauren, Matusda, Cartier, Modo and Isaac Mizrahi. You want factory care for your eyes, get it cheaply elsewhere. You want a unique and superior new look, look here. Trolley Square, 602 E. 500 South, 359-2020