Lindsay

How to Achieve Domination in Utah
(Economical tips for the poor grad student)

Ok, so Utah has a problem with alcohol. They don't have enough variety, and they charge way too much for it. You can only get "real" alcohol at state liquor stores. A "normal" six pack of corona is $10.99. The only "alcohol" you can get at grocery stores in this state is 3.2% alcohol.... well I guess that's not entirely true since beer brewed in utah doesn't have to have this requirement. It can be up to 4%. *sarcastic* Yay! (although some of its not so bad. Desert Edge has some good stuff for $4.50 a pitcher for U. of U. students.) And me and my dogs both like Cutthroat, which we buy in bulk at Costco.

Anyway, because of this horrible famine, I've brainstormed some ways to get drunk in Utah.. however hard this may be.

Go to Wyoming to get alcohol for a resonable price. Stock up. When I say stock up, I mean at least four times your weight in alcohol.
Give blood, then drink.
Fast for a day, then drink.
Get severe sunburn, then drink.
Go running, then drink.
Drink wine over Utah beer (better % per penny).
Drink at high elevations.
Get your stomach stapled??
Combine these options for best results.

Technically, the law in Utah states that beer cannot be over 3.2% alcohol by weight, which is 4% by volume. This is not so bad considering the percentages of beer outside the state. Another thing is that "normal" beer can be sold only in bottle, never on tap.